The Young Ones
by riowolf
Summary: a look at the life of Jamie Reagan and Toni Renzulli! from their first meeting to today!
1. Chapter 1

**effort #3!**

**i do not own any thing Blu Bloods related but a love and affection for the show, writers cast and crew for dong such a fantastic job in bringing us great entertainment.**

The Young Ones.

They always say, "Wait until you're older" or "You're too young to understand", but what if they were wrong? Just because you are a kid does not mean you do not understand...What it is like to be hurt; to lose a friend or loved one; to fall in love or to feel the aftermath of crime and terror. Or what it's like to grow up in the shadow of the gun and badge of the NYDP.

**Jamie 1985**

Playing on the bottom stair in the hallway was his favourite place of all while his brothers and sister were at school. It was spacious and no one was there to get in his way, except his ma or his grandma but they were allowed, they played with him and didn't take his toys away in anger. Danny and Joe did. They could be horrible to him at times but then they could be nice too. It was confusing to his little brain at times and it gave him a headache.

On this particular day, Jamie was playing by himself quite happily while his ma and grandma were having coffee with a lady in the front room. The lady was really nice and her husband was funny. He was a short kind of guy with neatly trimmed, thick black hair and a funny laugh. The man had left his wife at the house before going out with his dad to work. They both wore a dark navy uniform and had peashooters on their belts. One day i'm going to have a peashooter just like them, he thought happily to himself as he played with his toys.

"Oh my god!" screamed the nice lady, suddenly as she dropped her coffee cup. "Oh Mary! I think the baby's coming!"

"Aren't you a bit early?" asked Mary, Jamie's ma, as she stood to help her guest.

"Try telling that to this one!" laughed the lady, her name was Marie.

"Mommy! Mommy!" cried Jamie as he came into the front room afraid from the scream. He looked to the lady called Marie. "Is her tummy expoding?" as he pointed at the very pregnant lady.

"No honey!" smiled Mary, sweetly as she helped Marie to stand. "Marie is going to have a baby. And we need to make her a little more comfortable before the ambulance comes."

"I don't think this baby is going to wait that long," groaned Marie as she grabbed for the side of the sofa.

"Ma? She can have my bed. It's very compable" smiled Jamie as he walked up to Marie and took her hand. "Let me take you?" he offered. Marie watched in awe of the little boy as she tried to control her breathing.

"Mary, where did you get this little angel?" smiled Betty, his grandma, as she swooped up her youngest grandchild. "I think it's time i took you to see Grandpa Henry,"

"I don't wanna go see Gandpa!" he huffed. "I wanna stay here. I can help!" sobbed Jamie as he tried to keep hold of Marie's hand. All three ladies were astonished by the way Jamie was cliniging onto Marie's hand with stoic determination.

"Okay, but it may get icky before the ambulance gets here," warned Mary as she set Marie onto the floor. "Ma, can you call the precinct and have Frank bring Anthony home. I have a feeling Marie is right, this baby is coming now and it will not wait for a bus!"

"Why would a baby want a bus, ma?" asked Jamie as he stood beside Marie's side and stroked her head. Marie could only smile as another contraction ripped through her body. "There there!" sighed Jamie as he kissed Marie's head. All while this was going on, Betty Reagan was on the phone instructing the precinct desk sergeant that Sergeant Reagan and Officer Anthony Renzulli were needed at the Reagan residence in Bay Ridge. Then as an afterthought, she called for the paramedics and her husband, Commissioner Henry Reagan...Though not in that order.

"Jamie, sweetheart. Can you help Grandma get some towels from the cupboard in the utility room for me," asked Mary as she prepared to deliver the baby.

"Sure, Ma!" beamed Jamie as he then turned to look at Marie. "Stay! I go get owls for my ma!" he announced softly and waddled out to help Betty.

"I hope mine turns out like him!" groaned Marie as she continued to pant away the contractions. "I have to admit, i thought he was going to scream the place down...Arghhh!"

"He's wise beyond his years is my Jamieson, he's going to break so many hearts!" gushed Mary as she turned in time to see her youngest waddle back into the room.

"Cwean owls!" announced Jamie as he dropped them by his mom's side and took up position by Marie's side. "Ohh! Your head all wet! I get owl to dry it for you" he said as he picked up the towel he just dropped only moments ago.

"Thank you Jamie," gasped Marie as she let him mop her brow. "Now can you hold my hand as i think it's nearly time to have this baby!" she smiled as he smiled back at her.

"OK. But where is baby coming from?" he asked inquisitively. Mary, Betty and Marie just exchanged glances and laughed hysterically, only stopping when they heard the front door slam.

"Mary! Ma!" called out Frank Reagan as he came rushing into the house.

"Marie! Where's Marie?!" called the other officer. Just as they got to the front room a wailing sound was heard. "Is that..? Is that my baby..?" stammered Anthony Renzulli as he approached the sofa.

"You have a beautiful baby girl," announced Mary as she swaddled the child in a clean towel.

"I helped!" beamed Jamie as he smiled up at his daddy, proudly.

"Did you now kid?" laughed Renzulli with tears in his eyes. "So whaddya think of my baby?" he asked as he looked at his wife. "I happen to think she's beautiful too, just like her mommy!"

"She needs a bath!" said Jamie as he wrinkled his nose up. "But she is small too. Can i play with her? She can have my toys too," he offered. The proud new dad held his daughter in his arms and looked at the young Reagan.

"When she gets a bit bigger and stronger i'm sure she'll play with you. After helping Marie, i think you get to be her first best friend. I hope that also means you'll always look out for her too,"

"What's her name?" asked Jamie, still looking at the little bundle in Renzulli's arms.

"Antonia Jamieson Renzulli," said Marie, through her tears.

"Oni! I like that name! Hello Oni! Me Jamie! I'm going to be your frwend!" he smiled as he leant over in his dad's arms and gave the now sleeping baby a kiss on her head.

**Jamie &Toni 1988**

"Jammie!...Jammie!...JAMMIE!" yelled Toni as she searched through the front room for her friend. She could hear him giggling but she just couldn't see him. "I find you i ickle you!" she threatened.

"You can't tickle me! I'm a Reagan!" he retorted back. "And you are getting so cold!" he added.

"It's hot in here, how can i be getting cold?" questioned Toni as she turned in the direction of Jamie's voice.

"It means you are nearly finding me!" tutted Jamie, as he looked out from his hiding place.

Toni stopped in the middle of the front room when she heard the front door open. As she listened, she could hear the other Reagan children come running in from school. "Ooh! Big kids!" she panicked and ran for cover, under the sofa. "Jammie! This is where you be!" she exclaimed as she lay beside her friend.

Shh! They'll hear you!" whispered Jamie as he put a finger to her lips. "We gotta stay here a while so that they don't ruin our game." Toni looked at Jamie with a smile and nodded her head in understanding. Big kids got in the way some times but then Danny could be really funny with Jamie.

"Hey! Where are the little squirts?" asked fourteen-year-old Danny Reagan as he went through to the kitchen for cookies and milk.

"They were in the front room playing a short while ago. They couldn't have gone far," said Mary as she carried her basket of laundry in from the back yard.

"There's no kids in there now," shrugged Joe, who was almost twelve, as he too came looking for his after school snack.

"Ma! Why are Jamie's cars all over the stairs?" asked Erin, thirteen, as she tried to carry all the school bags at once.

""Just put them by the utility room Erin, that'll be fine!" smirked Danny as he sat down. Erin glared at her brothers as she unceremoniously dropped three school bags, two gym kits and her oboe case.

"Erin Reagan! What do you think you are doing?" exclaimed their mother. "Why are you carrying your brothers' things? And that oboe is not a toy, it's expensive!"

"Sorry, ma. But the boys made me carry their stuff in. They told me it was my job as it was women's work!" huffed Erin as she glared at the boys who had now started to choke on their cookies and milk.

"Did they now? Well, they can go their rooms and clean them up. That's their job this afternoon and after that i am sure i can find them some more work to do!" replied their mom as she watched the two boys sink further into their seats. "But before they do that, they can go find Toni and Jamie and give them their snack."

Danny and Joe groaned but stopped the moment they felt the "hand of mom" on the back of their heads. Meanwhile, back in the front room under the sofa, Jamie and Toni had fallen fast asleep not knowing the chaos they were about to cause.

"They're not there, ma!" exclaimed Danny as he came back into the kitchen with a worried look. "I looked in the cupboard under the stairs, the bathroom and Jamie's bedroom. They aren't here!" he said worriedly.

"They have to be here somewhere. Jamie knows he can't go outside just now after his recent chest infection," huffed Mary as she went to look for herself. "Are you sure you looked everywhere?"

"Ma, we looked!" sighed Erin as she came down the stairs from checking her room and Joe's. "I'm not looking in Danny's room, i may not get out alive! It's full of toxic waste that he calls underwear!" snorted Erin as she stuck her tongue out at her brother.

"Oh, Ha Ha!" he quipped back!

"Stop it! All of you! We need to find Jamie and Toni," stated Mary as she scratched her head. "Danny, you call your dad at the precinct. Joe, Erin, run down to Grandma Betty and ask if she's seen the young ones. They could've slipped out if you left the door open on your return from school." Mary was doing her best not to show panic but it was getting difficult. Erin and Joe looked at their mom and then to each other, they could see it was getting serious if they couldn't find their little brother and his friend in their own home.

"We won't be long, ma," smiled Joe as he gave Mary a hug before heading out with his sister. "They are so going to be trouble when they get home," he sighed as he closed the front door.

"I think mom would just be happy to get them both home in one piece for starters," replied Erin as they ran down the sidewalk.

"Mary! Where are they?" sobbed Marie as she ran into the Reagan house 30 minutes later. Frank and Renzulli had picked her up from her work as a housekeeper at the Astoria hotel. "How long have they been gone?" she cried as Mary hugged her.

"Calm yourself now. They'll be fine. I'm sure they haven't gone too far," replied Mary as she rubbed her back. "Jamie is a good boy and he will always look out for Toni," she reassured her.

"Danny, can you and Tony go down to the park and see if they are by the play frames, i'll take Joe and scout the neighbours gardens..." suggested Frank but stopped as he stood by the sofa.

"Frank? What is it?" asked Mary, puzzled as she watched her husband. "What is?" she repeated.

"Dad?" asked Danny as he and his siblings stood by his side. Renzulli stood with the kids and cocked his head to the side.

"Listen?" he whispered. Everyone stopped talking and strained their ears. "Is that...Snoring?" he smirked.

"Yeah, it is. But where is it coming from?" asked Danny as he started to look around.

"The sofa" smiled Frank as he slowly got to his knees and bent down to look underneath the furniture. "Well, whaddyaknow?" he exclaimed. He motioned to Renzulli to lift the other end of the sofa as he took the other. As the sofa moved, there beneath were two sleeping children, cuddled up in each other's arms.

"Now if they were 15 and 17, you'd be screaming blue murder!" giggled Erin as she watched her little brother protect his little playmate while she held the arms that were carefully wrapped around her.


	2. Chapter 2

a few more years down the line...

**Jamie & Toni 1993 **

"Jammie! I got it!" squealed Toni as she tried to fight off her attacker. "You made your point! Get off!"

"Not until you say it!" he laughed as he tickled his best friend. "Say it!"

"Hey! You two! What are you doing to that girl?!" asked Danny as he came running into the garden.

"She has to pay the price! She has to learn that us Reagans are the best!" laughed Jamie as he continued to tickle her. "I told her you'd graduate the academy first time!" he smiled.

"Oh! Ye of little faith!" mocked Danny as he too joined in with the attack. Within seconds Danny had lifted Toni up in his arms and slung her over his shoulder in a fireman's lift.

"Where are you taking me?" squealed Toni as she tried to wriggle away.

"To interrogation!" announced Danny as he walked through the backdoor and into the kitchen before placing Toni on the worktop by the sink. "I think you have to answer some questions before we let you go!" he teased.

"But, why? You graduated and you are a rookie now. You get to go eat doughnuts all day! That's what Jammie said!" explained Toni as she looked mischievously at her friend who was now on his way, backing out the kitchen door.

"Oh really?" sang Danny as he turned to face his youngest sibling. Jamie was desparately trying to come up with a response when Erin happened to walk in.

"What's going on here?" she asked as she caught Jamie with the kitchen door.

Grab the kid, sis! He's wanted for interrogation for crimes against his brother. His partner here just flipped on him!" smirked Danny as he jerked his thumb over his shoulder at Toni.

"No i never!" she exclaimed as she jumped off the counter top and stamped on his foot.

"Argh!" shouted Danny as he hopped around the table, letting Toni make her escape out the backdoor and distracting Erin enough to move away from Jamie thus allowing him to run out.

"She assaulted a police officer!" groaned Danny as he tried to run after the youngsters but couldn't catch them due to his injured foot. Erin was trying her best not to laugh but Danny's face was priceless, a mix of anger and sheer amusement.

"Those two are going to be a handful when they get older!" laughed Joe as he watched his brother hobble down the path as he returned from football practice.

"Going to be? They already are!" scoffed Danny as he turned to look down the road to see if he could see them on the corner of the street.

"They didn't go that way!" said Joe as he watched his brother. "Don't you remember from the last few "runaway" moments? They never go further from the house when their together!" he smiled. Danny looked at his brother and nodded.

"The tree house!" he grinned as he walked around to the back of the house and spied the clubhouse that their father and grandfather had helped them to build before Jamie was born. "I think we'd better make sure they don't escape again!" he winked as he walked to the tree house and took away the ladder very quietly.

"Hey! How are they going to get down for dinner? And Renzulli will be here to collect Toni at any minute!" gasped Erin as she watched her brothers as they walked back through the house.

"Relax sis! If they want dinner then they'll have to beg for the ladder. They will only get the ladder once they have apologised to the injured officer, me!" smirked Danny as he sat down at the kitchen table with a fresh cup of coffee.

"One problem there son!" announced Frank Reagan as he walked into the kitchen after watching the hilarity unfold from his car. "Those two wise kids planned a sleep out in the tree house tonight and are already well stocked up. They don't plan on coming down anytime soon!" he smiled.

"Oh yeah? What about bathroom breaks?" smirked Danny, smugly.

Frank had to admit that was a good call. When Jamie needed the bathroom, he_needed_ the bathroom. "Hmmm! Danny! That would be unfair to your younger sibling. It's underhand. Sneaky. An excellent way to break them! Proud of you Officer Reagan! Keep up the good work!" with that he turned and left the kitchen.

"It's cruel!" exclaimed Erin as she looked back at her smug brother's face. Danny shrugged his shoulders and high-fived his brother who was nodding his head, impressed.

"He took the ladder away!" groaned Jamie as he and Toni poked their heads out of their sleeping bags.

"It's okay. He'll bring it back, won't he?" asked Toni, worriedly.

"Knowing Danny he'll use it as a tool to get us to cave in!" humpfed Jamie as he sat up. "Just as well we got supplies up here already!" he said as he opened up his grandpa's old army footlocker that they used to hide their sodas and snacks.

"What if we need your mom or dad later?" asked Toni as she sat beside her friend.

"We got the walkie-talkie radios that i got for my birthday! Dad has one in his den! He'll be able to speak to us that way. Dad will be on our team!" smiled Jamie, confidently as he pulled out his little hand held radio. "Gadget. Gadget. Come in Gadget."

"Gadget here. How's it going mouse?" came the voice over the radio. "Remember the bathroom code, mouse," instructed Frank, smiling as he played along.

"Ten-four, Gadget!" said Jamie. "What's the situation? Over."

"The dogs are being feed and the Rottweiler is hungry! Over."

"He's always hungry!" sniffed Toni as she wrapped herself in her sleeping bag and hopped over to where Jamie had put the flashlight as it was now beginning to get dark.

"Ten-four, Gadget. Mouse, out" he smiled. Turning to Toni he said, "Did you have to jump on his foot? He's going to be so pissed!"

"Jammie! You said a bad word!" exclaimed Toni as she swiped Jamie's hand.

"I know! But he will be!" shrugged Jamie as he opened a can of soda for Toni.

"I had to distract him. How else would we escape from the evil police officer?" she smiled sweetly.

"He's not evil! He's just Danny!" retorted Jamie as he looked out of the tree house and into the kitchen with his binoculars. He could see his mom at the kitchen sink now and he could tell she wasn't in a good mood. Danny was beside her and obviously trying to talk her down with his _take_ on the tree house situation.

"I gotta go pee!" announced Jamie as he put the binoculars down beside Toni. "Don't look!" he blushed.

"I won't! Ergh! As if?!" scoffed Toni with a small shudder. "How you gonna wash your hands after?" she asked.

"Mom put those wipe things in the box!" smiled Jamie. He was prepared for anything!

It was several hours later and Danny was getting annoyed with the fact that Jamie still hadn't required a bathroom visit. "How long can he hold it in for?" he groaned. As he hovered by the back door.

"Hey! You used to pee out the back of the tree house on many occasion!" answered Henry as he sat with Erin as she poured over her law books.

"Eww!" groaned Erin as she looked at her brother with disgust. He shrugged with a smile.

"Well, there's nothing for you to worry about! I just checked on them and they are both fast asleep in the tree house and well wrapped up! So, i suggest that we leave them be and you can arrest them in the morning!" smiled Mary as she brought in a glass of scotch for Henry. What she didn't tell her eldest, was that Frank had already taken them down from the tree house, snuck them to the bathroom to get them ready for bed and helped them back up again.

"Oh! I will get them!" laughed Danny. "I'm going to catch them out somehow!"

Later that night, the wind got up high and strong. It shook the tree house badly enough to wake Jamie and Toni from their dreams. The two friends were getting scared but neither one wanted to call for help as it would mean that Danny would win and he wasn't allowed to win.

"Frank? Are you awake? Can you hear that wind?" whispered Mary as she sat up in the bed. "Frank?"

"I hear you Mary, i'll go check on the kids," he replied softly. Before he could get himself untangled from the covers there was a loud crash and screams from outside. Frank jumped from the bed, grabbed his dressing robe and ran down the stairs. Danny, Joe and Erin came running from their rooms.

"Dad? Jamie and Toni!" exclaimed Danny as he followed his father. "The tree house is down," he said with a look of fear in his eyes. Frank knew what his son was trying to say. If he hadn't been such a cocky jerk to his little brother then they wouldn't be in this situation.

Frank got to the back door and opened it quickly. Danny and Joe were close behind. The scene in front of them was one of carnage. The tree house was a heap of broken wood at the bottom of the tree. The sleeping bags, toys and footlocker were strewn across the lawn.

"Uncle Frank!" scream Toni as she tried to pull something up from the ground. It took only seconds for Danny to realise that Toni was trying to pick Jamie up off the ground.

"Jamie!" he shouted as he burst through the door and went to help his stricken sibling. "Wake up Jamie!" he screamed.

"Don't need to shout! I can hear you!" he mumbled as he tried to move from his brother's embrace. "My arm hurts, not my ears!"

Danny laughed as he loosened his grip on his brother and carried him into the kitchen. Frank carried a crying Toni and they all got inside into the warmth of the house. "C'mon kid! Let's get you checked out" he smiled.

"Danny?" whispered Toni as she walked up to him after being checked by the ER doctor.

"Yeah, Oni. What's up?" asked Danny as he rubbed his face.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to piss you off," she mumbled.

Danny smiled at her. "Did Jamie tell you that?" Toni nodded her head, sheepishly. "Well, he was right in some ways but i guess you're still young enough to get away with it! And i won't tell that you used a bad word as long as you promise not to use it again for a long time?"

"Deal! And Danny? I think you make a great cop!" she blushed as she gave him a big hug and a sloppy kiss on the cheek.

"Thanks, kid!" he groaned as he laughed with her. At that moment, Frank came through from the ER with Jamie who was sporting his arm in a cast. Toni was the first by his side, "Did the Dr fix your arm, Jammie?"

"No biggie! And i got a lollipop because i was so brave. Didn't i, dad?" smiled Jamie, then again to Toni, "I got one for you too cause you was brave too!" as he handed one to her.

"Thank you Jamie! You're my hero too!" she said and gave him a big hug and a sloppy kiss.

"Hey! I thought i was the hero!" sulked Danny as he watched his little brother blush to his roots.


	3. Chapter 3

this entry ended up longer than expected. I just couldn't seem to condense it so that it wasn't rushed. I hope you can stick with it but as we all now, when you hit those teenage years life gets harder!

**Jamie & Toni 1996**

Summer vacations were the best. No school. No homework. More chores (boo!). More time for fun and to hang out with friends. Or so Toni had hoped but with her dad and Jamie's dad moving in different career moves, she was seeing less and less of her best friend. She was hoping that the annual NYPD summer barbeque would make up for some lost time.

"Hey Jamer!" called Scott Davenport, one of his neighbours. "Hey there! You going to this party in the park?" he asked as he caught up with his friend.

Jamie, now 13 and with teen angst, looked up as he watched his friend climb the front wall. "When don't my family go?" he smiled.

"Cool! Listen are we going to have that cling-on hanging about with us?" asked Scott as he kicked a make believe stone. Jamie looked at his friend again. He knew who Scott was referring too. He had to admit, it was getting a little embarrassing to have a _girl_ hanging around him these days. "I don't know. I haven't seen her in months" shrugged Jamie as he looked out into the street. "She don't get to come over as often these days as on account her old man no longer works with mine."

"Well, your old man is moving on up! I mean, Detective Reagan is a star within the NYPD! He's going to go places!" smiled Scott as he slammed Jamie on the back. Jamie had to agree, his dad was moving up the ladder quite quickly these days and making a name for himself in the ranks. What with Danny now planning on taking the Detectives exam soon, and Joe attending the academy, all his family bar Erin would be in the ranks of the NYPD.

"I hope i get to join when i'm old enough but ma is adamant that i'm not joining!" sighed Jamie as he looked to his feet.

"You and me both!" smirked Scott as he jumped off the wall and turned to face his friend. "Your ma can't stop you. It's your life not hers!"

Jamie just smiled sadly and nodded. He didn't want to go into that just now. He had sat up late one night and heard his mom and dad arguing over Joe's decision to join the academy and that Jamie was the "one son that won't go into the ranks. Over my dead body!"

"Jamie!" called Erin from the front door. "I need you to help here!" she added. Jamie turned and saw his sister struggling with a baby and a buggy. Ever since baby Nicki had appeared he had found his time was taken up with more chores around the house in-between his studies and all the extra activities he had signed up for.

"Sure sis!" sighed Jamie as he walked up to the front door. "How much stuff does Nicki need?" he asked perplexed as he helped with the baby bags.

"Believe me, I have no idea how mom managed with the four of us! I have enough trouble with just one!" groaned Erin. It had been a hard transition for her to juggle marriage, motherhood and still find time to study for her law degree. "Jack is just swamped at the office today. Of all days, he has to get caught up in a case! This family day in the park is important," she said.

Jamie smiled at his sister as she lifted his new niece into the buggy. "Is she worth it?" he asked.

"More than anything. If i don't do much with my life at least i know i made this!" beamed Erin as she wiped a stray tear from her eye.

"You ok Mrs Boyle?" asked Scott as he came over.

"Oh yeah! Just ignore me, Scott. My hormones are still crazy after having Nicki!" she smiled. Jamie and Scott looked at each other and shrugged, not really understanding what Erin was talking about. "Oh! Jamie, you'll be able to catch up with Toni this afternoon. Renzulli is on the hot dog stall again this year. I heard she helping him out. It'll be good to see her again, won't it? She's not had a chance to meet Nicki yet,"

Jamie and Scott exchanged glances again which both came with silent groans. Luckily for them both, Erin didn't notice either as she headed to the car with Nicki.

"She is going to be there!" moaned Scott as he kicked at the rose bush by the front door.

"Yeah, but she'll be helping Renzulli so we'll probably not see much of her!" shrugged Jamie.

Later that afternoon, with the family day in full swing, Jamie met up with Scott and a few of his other friends, Mark, Steve and Nick and they had a wander around the stalls and the funfair. Danny was walking around with his new wife, Linda, but was close enough to observe his kid brother and his friends. He didn't really like Scott or Steve very much as they could cause trouble when they wanted and didn't care that their father's were senior Detectives at his precinct.

"HOT DOGS! HOT DOGS!" yelled Renzulli as he served the crowd around his stall. "Here y'go Danny!" he shouted as he passed two hot dogs to the junior detective. "Where's Jamie today?"

"He's around. Has he not been by yet?" asked Danny as he handed one hot dog to Linda.

"Not yet. He'll be over when he's hungry," smiled Toni as she handed Danny his change. "How's Erin getting on with the baby?" asked Toni.

"Nicki is adorable. You have to see her," smiled Linda as she held Danny's hand. "Why don't you come with me and i'll take you to her," offered Linda. Toni looked at her dad for permission. He smiled and nodded his head. Toni hugged her dad, took off her apron and followed Danny and Linda to find Erin. Once she had gone from the stall, Scott, Jamie and company slid out of their hiding place and approached the hot dog stall.

"Jamie! You just missed Toni," he smiled as he saw the young lad. "She was hoping to catch up with you. She's off to see your sister's baby, maybe you can see her then," suggested Renzulli.

"Yeah, maybe," shrugged Jamie as his friends pulled faces at him.

"Yeah! Like that's gonna happen today, Jamer!" smirked Scott under his breath as not to let Renzulli hear him. "Can we get some service?" he retorted cheekily to the friendly officer. Renzulli chose to ignore the rudeness of the youngster and served Jamie first.

"He's as stupid as his daughter!" sneered Steve, behind Jamie.

"What was that?" asked Renzulli as he caught the boy talking.

"I'll have two chilli dogs!" smirked Steve as he nudged Jamie in the ribs. Jamie shuffled his feet and did his best to escape the hot dog stand quickly. As he wandered off on his own, he saw Toni with his brother, Danny and his wife, Linda. Toni was smiling and laughing as she cuddled baby Nicki. He missed his friend but wasn't going to admit that to his friends. She was a _girl_ and girls weren't cool, well, not at his age anyway.

"There you are?" exclaimed Mary as she caught up with her youngest. "Come and say hello to Toni."

"Hey Jamer! It's time for baseball!" shouted Scott as he ran passed Jamie, pulling at his shirt. Toni heard the commotion, saw Jamie and turned to smile and wave at him. Jamie acted as though he hadn't seen her and ran off with Scott instead. Toni's smile wavered a little as she lowered her hand before turning back to Nicki and Linda.

Although Toni appeared to shrug off the incident, someone who had observed it wasn't going to let his little brother off so lightly. Joe had been late getting away from doing some extra study at home and was late to the party. He was on his way to meet up with the family when he noticed Jamie and his mates at the hot dog stand and decided to follow them. He had heard their nasty, rude comments about the Renzullis and was determined to get Jamie away from his so-called friends.

"Jamie! Wait up!" called Joe, happily, not wanting to give his brother an indication of his disappointment.

"Hey Joe!" smiled Jamie as he waited for his older brother to catch up with him. "How's it going at the academy?" he asked.

"Good thanks. How's it been at home?" replied Joe as he draped his arm around his little brother's shoulders as he carefully started to pull him away from his friends.

"Ahh! Mom's still in a bad mood over you going into the academy. She's always telling me that i'm not going to be joining the NYPD, that i'm going to college!" groaned Jamie. Joe smiled sadly at his brother. He knew that he wanted to go into the family business too but their mom was determined to keep him out of it.

"Sorry about that kid! I guess Danny and i didn't give you much options where mom was concerned ,did we?" laughed Joe.

"Where're we going Joe?" asked Jamie as he noticed they were walking away from the ball game. "I need to get back to the guys."

"I thought you could catch up with Toni for a while. It's been ages since you saw her. See, she's with Linda," pointed Joe as he carefully observed his brother. Jamie was looking around to see if his friends were watching. They weren't so it was ok for now, at least.

"Hey Jammie!" smiled Toni as she gave him a big hug. Jamie gave her a reluctant hug back and tried to get out of her hold as quickly as possible. "What's wrong?" she asked innocently, feeling a little surprised by his reluctance to speak to her.

"Nothing" he shrugged. "Was going to play baseball..." he muttered.

"Oh, can i play? I been practicing with dad!" she said proudly.

"No, its just the boys.." he quipped back, quickly and sharply. He immediately regretted it.

"Oh? I ...Well, sorry, i thought anyone could play," she muttered quietly. And turned to leave.

"Jamieson Reagan!" growled Frank as he watched the scene.

"Dad?" muttered Jamie as he turned around slowly to face his father.

"Why are you being rude to Toni?" asked Frank, sternly.

"I wasn't. I was just telling her that it's a boys game. Besides she's too young to play. The guys are waiting for me.." he rushed as he made to leave. Joe got in his way.

"I think you hurt her feelings, Jamie" he nodded in Toni's direction. Although she was sitting with Linda and Nicki, Toni's mood was somewhat more subdued than before.

"She's fine! Now can i go?" asked Jamie as he shrugged his shoulder.

"Jamie, she's your best friend." sighed Joe.

"Scott's my best friend. Toni's a girl! And she gets in the way now..." yelled Jamie. Only he yelled a little too loudly. All eyes turned to him and then too Toni.

"I'm a Renzulli!" she shouted back at him and ran towards him. Jamie had never seen her angry before and he was scared. "I get in the way, do i? Well, that's charming! I haven't seen you in months and i'm in the way now, am i?" she screamed. "How dare you! I hate you, Jamie Reagan! I HATE YOU!" She threw her arms about wildly, battering punches down on Jamie, hard. Danny and Joe had to pull her off to protect their brother. Linda took Toni away to try to calm her down while Frank checked on his youngest son.

Jamie was left with a bloody nose and the beginnings of a black eye. He was still trying to catch his breath when Frank put a hand on his shoulder. Jamie shrugged him away and took off in the opposite direction and ran passed Tony Renzulli on his way over to look for Toni.

"What's happened to Jamie?" he asked as he joined the Reagan family.

"He said something to upset Toni and she let him know that she wasn't happy. I guess Jamie has never seen that side of her before...To tell the truth, none of us have ever seen her lose her temper like that," explained Frank.

"Sir, i'm so sorry. Where did Toni go? I'll have her come over and apologise..." stammered Renzulli.

"No, there's no need. Jamie deserved what he got for what he said was rude, childish and unfair to your daughter. He's been showing off with his mates recently. I think it was time he was brought down a peg or two. And Toni was the one to do it," said Mary as she joined the family. Renzulli was stunned and still slightly embarrassed by his daughter's outburst.

"Toni's with Linda," offered Danny as he pointed them out. "Why don't you go sit with them, i'll go get her a soda." Renzulli nodded and went to comfort his daughter.

"He...He... was...h. to me! He said i got in the way!" she sobbed quietly into Linda's blouse.

"Hey! He's a growing boy! They always do silly things like this when secretly they really like the girl they upset," smiled Linda as she stroked Toni's back.

"I still hate him!" cried Toni. "Daddy!" she sobbed as she saw her father approach with his arms out wide. Toni ran to his embrace and sobbed her heart out even more, "I wanna go home." Renzulli hugged her as Danny returned with the soda.

"I wanna go home," she sobbed quietly. "Jamie has never been nasty to me before. What did i do wrong?" she asked.

Danny took her hand and sat down with her on his lap," My little brother was being a jerk because he wants to look cool in front of the other guys he goes to school with. They don't know you like he does. He's trying to fit in with everybody and keep everyone happy," explained Danny.

"Lin..Linda said it was because he secretly liked me.." she hiccupped. Danny smiled at the little girl and pulled him in for a Danny special hug.

"He does like you, sweetie, he just doesn't know it yet! Hang in there, kid. You'll be the making of him one day," he whispered in her ear. Toni pulled away slightly and looked into Danny's eyes with a sense of knowing and understanding that no other 11-year-old girl he had ever known before, had. She smiled up at the young Detective, wiped her eyes and gave him a kiss on his cheek. Danny and Renzulli smiled at her.

Her father sat beside them and said, "I don't think any other guy would get a look in with you other than Master Reagan as far as i'm concern. So he's being a jerk! But he'll always be your friend."

"So, i should forgive him for being a jerk?" she asked then, "Don't tell Jamie, but i like him too," she whispered as she blushed. Turning away from Danny she took her father's hand and calmly said, "I think it's time to go play baseball!"

"You sure? The other kids are going to be there with Jamie," replied Renzulli with a worried heart.

"Ahh! Let 'em be! I know how to play baseball and i'm gonna show 'em how it's done!" she said determinedly as she pulled her dad by the hand.

"Now, this i gotta see!" smirked Joe as he slapped Danny on the back. "I also wanna see how Jamie reacts to that firecracker's return!"

Toni headed to the ball game and took her place on the opposite team from Jamie. They had always been on the same team up till now. Jamie was still smarting from his hiding from Toni. He never told Scott or Steve who had given him the bloody nose. It was too embarrassing. He just hoped that Toni didn't tell them either.

As the game progressed, Jamie's team had the upper hand all the way. Toni's team were just there for the fun but Scott and Steve were making it out to be the playoffs and were set on crushing the opposition. Soon Jamie was on the mount and it was Toni's turn to bat.

"C'mon Reagan! Get this pipsqueak out!" yelled Scott from the sidelines. Jamie was still hurt by Toni's actions, he couldn't see that he had hurt her just as badly, only her wounds didn't show on the outside.

"Now you remember everything i taught you. Go out there and have fun. It's not the winning that's important. Ok, kid?" smiled Renzulli as he handed his daughter the bat. Toni took a deep breath and hugged her father once more for good luck.

Jamie watched Toni take her place and prepare. He knew her dad played ball and that he was quite good at it too, so Toni had to have some skills. Only because they hadn't kept in touch, Jamie really wasn't prepared for the home run she hit. "Oh shii..." he muttered as he watched the ball sail through the sky. Toni took one look at Jamie before happily running home and into her dad's waiting arms. Jamie was shocked to the core that (a) he's been beaten by a girl and that (b) he'd been beaten by a girl twice in one day!

The family day drew to a close and everyone was taking themselves home. Joe and Danny went looking for Jamie whom they hadn't seen since the end of the ball game. They were just walking past the makeshift ball pen when they heard angry voices. Voices shouting at one person, Jamie.

"You let her win! Are you going soft?" jeered Steve as he threw a punch to Jamie's stomach whilst Mark and Nick held onto his arms.

"You let the team down! You're pathetic! You'll never be a cop!" sneered Scott as he threw a punch to Jamie's right side. Jamie fell to the ground as the wind was blown from him. He realised too late what had been in front of him the whole time. He wasn't part of this crowd, this wasn't what friends did. He needed to break free but he was struggling to stand and breathe. Luckily for him, his brothers were close at hand.

"Hey! Whaddya think you're doing,eh? Being Mr Bigshots, eh?" shouted Danny as he flattened Steve and Scott against the wall. Mark and Nick dropped Jamie as they saw Joe approach them.

"They made us do it" they squealed before trying and failing to run away. Joe cornered the other two boys with just a look.

"How do you do that, i gotta chase 'em?" mocked Danny as he and Joe dragged Jamie's attackers back to the bleachers.

"Guess i got a different style than you!" winked Joe as he sat the bullies down and called their father. Frank was not far behind and had the four boys' fathers in tow as he arrived at the bleachers. The four boys were duely reprimanded and dragged home with their tails between their legs. Jamie was left to sit with his dad as he tried to clean up his bruises.

"Not much of a day for you, eh, kid?" smiled Frank, gently as he helped his son. Jamie couldn't look at his dad.

"Reagans don't do this, do they?" he said quietly, ashamed of his behaviour. Frank stayed silent for a few more minutes.

"Son. It's what you do next that counts, And i think there's someone you need to speak with first before we get you to the hospital for a check up," said Frank as he looked directly into Jamie's eyes.

Jamie nodded, "Where is she?"

"Home with her folks. Want me to drive you over?" offered Frank.

"Yeah, please. But i gotta get something first. Can we make a pit stop on the way?" asked Jamie.

"Sure." Smiled Frank as he helped his youngest up and move towards the car.

Toni was sitting in the front room of her parents home idly watching the tv but not taking anything in. She was still down in the dumps following the day's events. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't hear the front door nor did she notice as Jamie entered the room.

Only when a single purple rose was held under her face did she notice him.

"I'm sorry for being a jerk," he shrugged. Toni looked up and saw his bruised face. "Did i do that?" she asked quietly.

"Well, some of it but not all," he shrugged with a small smile. "But i deserved what i got. I'm sorry," he said with a small sob.

"Are you going to see the doctor?" asked Toni as she stood up from her chair. Jamie took a cautious step back and nodded. "Can i come with you?" she asked.

"Promise not to hit me again?" begged Jamie.

"Promise not to be a jerk?" she asked. Jamie smiled warily and shrugged his shoulders.

"I'm a boy! I guess i'm cursed to be a jerk every once in a while,"


	4. Chapter 4

And now for a new milllennium!

**Jamie & Toni 1999**

The New Year was approaching fast and so too was the new millennium. Preparations were being put together with much expense, time and co-ordination between all city departments everywhere. It was to be the biggest party ever in Times Square and it meant that all hands were on deck to ensure it was to be the safest. That included the Reagan men of the NYPD being on duty in the lead up to the celebrations.

Jamie Reagan, the youngest at 16 was busy on the phone talking to his best friend, Toni Renzulli about Christmas and stuff...And desperately trying to pluck up the courage to ask her out to the New Year's Eve ball.

"So what did Danny say?" asked Toni as she quizzed Jamie about the gift she had given to the oldest Reagan son and his wife.

"Well, let's put it this way, Linda liked it!" he laughed as he sat on the stairs. "She said it would come in useful when the baby arrives."

"Linda's pregnant?!" exclaimed Toni as she jumped up and down on the other end of the phone. "Oh, wow! That's fantastic news! I can't wait to see Danny changing diapers!" she joked.

"I think you have a better chance of seeing flying pigs!" replied Jamie as he laughed with her. The vision of Danny trying to work out how to take off a diaper was one he'd been seeing for days since the announcement.

"So, are your folks going to the ball on New Years?" asked Toni casually. "Mom and dad bought me a new dress," she added.

"Let me guess? Purple?" laughed Jamie as he played with the loose hem of his shirt. Joe was watching from the top of the stairs, trying not to laugh. He knew that Jamie was beginning to see Toni in a new light after a few years of being, well, a teenaged idiot, if truth be told. He just wished they'd stop skirting around the edges and actually do something about their obvious feelings for each other.

"Now, what gave it away?!" exclaimed Toni in mock shock. She loved to hear her friend laugh, he made her feel special, not like the jerks that went to her school. "Are you going to the ball?" she asked nervously.

"I guess so. Ma and dad have said i can go this year. Not like last year when i was sick in bed," he groaned as he remembered the previous New Year spent under his covers, dying with fever.

"You were milking the man-flu!" said Joe as he came down the stairs, not able to stay quiet for much longer. "Ask her," he mouthed to his little brother. Jamie just blushed as he tried to stay composed. Joe ruffled his hair as he walked past but Jamie slapped his hand away.

"No, that was just Joe. He was in to see Grandma Betty. It's her turn to be ill this year" he said.

"Oh! That's not good. Anything i can do?" offered Toni as she prayed it would help Jamie to ask her to the dance.

"Er, no. It's ok, we got everything covered. Linda's been coming over after her shifts, so..." he stalled as he faltered in his brother's presence. "Listen, i'd better go. It's my turn for the dishes. I'll see you at the dance then," he muttered as he rang off the call.

Toni muttered a quick goodbye and was left hanging onto an empty line feeling a little upset. "Okay, i guess i'll see you there,"

"Everything ok, sweetie?" asked Marie, Toni's mom as she came in the front door from work. She saw her daughter's face and knew that the question hadn't been asked. "Not got the courage yet,eh?" she smiled sweetly as she sat down beside her daughter. Toni shrugged her shoulders before placing the phone bck on the hook and getting up to go to her room.

"I got some work to do. Let me know when dad calls," she sighed as she walked slowly up the stairs to her room. Once there she opened her wardrobe and took out her new dress to hang on the door. She had waited weeks for Jamie to ask her but now, she would have to go with her cousin. It was the deal she had agreed with her parents.

"If Reagan hasn't asked you by the 30th then you go with your cousin Louis," insisted Renzulli as he sat at the dinner table the week before. Louis! Ergh! That gut gave her the creeps but a deal was a deal. She could go but only on the proviso that she went with either Jamie or Louis. And now it looked as though it would be Louis.

"Damn you Jamie Reagan!" she sobbed as she sat down on her bed and cuddled her favourite bear.

"You froze her out?" exclaimed Joe as he watched his brother get off the stairs. "Don't tell me you bottled it? You told me you were going to ask her today." Joe shock his head in mock disappointment.

"Not easy having your brother stand over you as you ask a girl out!" blushed Jamie as he stomped through to the kitchen. Joe followed.

"You know she's going to be disappointed. Now, if you don't ask her before the end of Renzulli's tour today, she has to go with that creep cousin of her's, Louis," stated Joe.

Jamie spun round, shocked. "Louis?"

"That's what i said, kid." Sighed Joe as he poured himself a cup of coffee. "I don't think she likes the idea any more than you do,"

"I wanna ask her but..." blushed Jamie unsure how to admit his fears.

"What is it? C'mon, Danny's not here, neither's ma or dad. Erin and Jack are still driving back from Atlantic City. No one's gonna laugh or tease you," offered Joe, sympathetically.

"What if she wants to dance? I can't dance and girls like to...you know. Dance," he blushed.

"I think dancing is the last thing you need to worry about right now," muttered Joe into his coffee cup.

"What? I knew you would be like Danny!" snapped Jamie as he got up to leave.

"Jamer! I'm sorry!" laughed Joe as he jumped up to follow his brother. Jamie was already throwing himself down on the sofa in front of the tv by the time Joe caught up with him. "Listen, what do i know? I haven't had a date since i started on the job," he sighed.

"I thought you said you'd been seeing some girls?" asked Jamie as he sat up and let his brother sit beside him.

"Truth is Jamie, they were one night stands. Nothing serious and nothing to be overly proud of. The job is hard enough as it is without trying to juggle a love life on top!" admitted Joe as he looked to his hands. Jamie watched his brother as he continues, "You and Toni have been friends since the day she was born. Have you ever known her to laugh at you for something you couldn't do?"

Now it was Jamie's turn to look at his hands. Joe was right. He'd been a jerk towards Toni a few times but she had never thrown it back in his face unless it was necessary, the family day out in central park three years ago was still clear in his memory.

"She just wants to be with someone special to see in the New Year and millennium. A memory to hold on to," explained Joe, softly. Jamie looked at his brother and nodded in understanding. He took a deep breath and went back to the phone. Joe sat on the sofa and thought to himself, "What a way to depress yourself Joseph Connor Reagan!"

A few minutes later Jamie came back, looking even more forlorn than before. "Too late. Renzulli answered and i got told i'd missed the cut-off. I guess i let her down," he shrugged.

Joe had nothing to say but put his arm around his brother's shoulders and let him fall against his support. "Will i ever get it right?" he sobbed. Joe had no answer but let him cry without embarrassment.

On New Years' Eve all the Reagans bar Grandma Betty, Erin, Jack and Nicki were dressed up in their finest. The Reagan men wore their dress blues and Jamie was in a smart new navy suit ready to see in the new millennium. Linda and Mary were glamorously attired and Jamie had the distinction to escort the ladies to their table while the other men did their duty and mingled.

Jamie sat with his mom and sister-in-law and watched everyone go by before they were joined by the Reagan men and the Commissioner. "Is Grandpa going to stay sober?" smiled Jamie as Joe sat beside him.

Joe and Danny laughed as they watched their Grandfather take centre stage for the opening speeches before dinner was served. "Well, it wouldn't do him any good in front of the mayor but the rank and file with love him even more for it!" replied Danny. The boys laughed together but were soon quietened by a look from their mother.

As Henry Reagan praised his force and their respective partners and family members, Jamie let his eyes move around the room looking for one person. Toni. But she wasn't there. He couldn't see her. Joe was watching his little brother and knew what he was doing.

"They're running late on account her mom was caught up at work," said Joe in a whisper. Jamie looked at Joe and blushed. "She'll be here soon. Just make sure you give her that gift," smiled Joe as he rubbed his brother's shoulder.

"And beg for forgiveness coz i saw that cousin of her's in the john and he's one sleazy s.o.b," whispered Danny from Jamie's left side. Again, another dirty look from their mother silenced them till the end of the speeches.

The evening drew on, dinner was served and cleared away, then the fun of celebrating the new millennium began. Jamie sat at the table for most of the night by himself as he watched his parents dance together. Danny and Linda were never far from each other's sight or touch. Danny would place a hand on Linda's stomach as if protecting a special cargo, which in hindsight was true. Jamie smiled to himself as he also observed Joe talking to a beautiful young woman who was serving at the bar. Every now and then he'd look out for Toni but never found her.

"Come on Jamie, time you had a dance with me," smiled Linda as she took his hand.

"Ah, no, Linds," he blushed but found she wasn't taking that for an answer.

"It's a slow dance and your brother gives his permission!" winked Danny as he pushed his little brother up from the table. Jamie blushed even further but followed his sister-in-law to the dance floor.

"Erm," he stammered, looking lost.

"You really don't know how to dance with a girl," said Linda softly. Jamie shook his head. Linda smiled and took his hands and placed them around her waist. Jamie was doing his best not to look over at his brother right now. Linda seemed to know what he was thinking, "Don't you worry about Danny, i got him covered!" she smiled. Jamie began to relax an swayed with Linda.

"She made it here," said Linda as she watched Jamie's face. Jamie looked up and then tried to search for her in the crowd. "She's in hiding," explained Linda.

"Why?" asked Jamie, worried as he looked back at his sister-in-law.

"Since the dancing started, her cousin has been trying to feel her up so she's taken refuge in the ladies," smiled Linda. "Louis is getting a little frustrated."

"How will i get her to come out?" asked Jamie, nervously as he stopped dancing.

"Well, once this dance finishes i'm going to go to the ladies and send her out. Danny and Joe will distract Louis. I trust you will be waiting for her. It's almost midnight and i don't think she wants to see the millennium in whilst hiding in a bathroom," said Linda as she took hold of the young man in front of her. Jamie's heart beat was going crazy.

"I need to get something from the table first," he muttered and walked back to where his brothers were waiting. "You'll do this for me?" he asked them.

"Listen, kid. Who are we to stand in the way of young love," teased Danny as Joe and Linda threw him dirty looks. Jamie, on the other hand just beamed a big smile.

"I take it, plan Millennium kiss is underway?" nodded Mary as she stared at the family table and watched her sons make their way out of the ballroom. Frank looked down at his wife and smiled at her with affection before looking up and catching Tony Renzulli's eye to give him the signal.

Tony mad his excuses and followed Danny, Joe, Jamie and Linda out of the ballroom. Danny and Joe made a subtle grab of Louis and lifted him off his feet as they carried him out of the hotel and dumped him in a patrol car outside. Linda went inside the ladies' while Jamie hovered by the ballroom entrance. Tony Renzulli caught up with him just before his daughter came out.

"Hey kid! Just want you to know that i should've given you a little more time to ask her out. She's not had as much fun as i had hoped for her tonight so make sure you treat her right!" said Renzulli, shaking Jamie's hand and going back inside to his wife.

Jamie was watching the officer's back when he heard his name being called.

"Jamie?" It was Toni. And she took his breath away.

"Wow!" he stammered as Linda, Danny and Joe smiled as they filed passed the two teenagers. "You look..."

Toni blushed, "Thanks, Jammie!"

"You, er , wanna dance?" asked Jamie nervously. "I can't promise i won't break your toes but i can sway in one place..." he said, quickly.

"Ok, i think i can manage that," she smiled as she took his hand and they headed back into the ballroom.

"Hang on a sec! I got something for you. It's a late Christmas gift," he blushed as he fished the little box out of his pocket.

"What is it?" asked Toni, excitedly as he handed it to her. Jamie smiled and watched her open the gift. "Oh, it's wonderful! Thank you! Put it on for me?" she replied as she lifted the necklace from the box.

"I know how much you like purple roses, so i thought i could give you one that never dies!" he blushed as she put the chain around her neck.

"Aren't they adorable?" sobbed Linda, as her hormones took over. Danny and Joe looked at each other and said, "We may puke!"

"Hey! You two could learn something from your little brother!" retorted Frank as he, Mary and Henry approached the table. Danny and Joe just looked at each other with fake disgust.

Just then, the Mayor started the countdown. Jamie and Toni grabbed each other by the hand and ran into the big ballroom to join in the celebrations...

"10..9..8..7..6..5..4..3..2...1..HAPPY NEW YEAR!" exclaimed everyone in the room and outside in Times Square and all over the city. Couples embraced and hugged one another and each other. Danny and Linda were parting from a kiss when Joe shouted, "I think dad might have a point!"

Everyone's' eyes were on the young teenage couple as they shared their first kiss.


	5. Chapter 5

Just a short chapter to address one date that affected us all...9/11/2001

i had rushed home from shopping in town to watch a tv show but found the news on instead. I was just asking myself why the news would be on when i saw the 2nd plane hit the WTC. I had only found out days before that i was expecting my baby daughter, Cara. Hormones were just kicking in and i was still reeling from the high of finding out when the world seemed to go into slow motion.

i have since had the chance to go to NYC, i visited ground zero, finding it only by recognising the church...thanks to CSI:NY for that call! I visited the fire museum and their exhibit to the day.

I know of no one personally affected by that day but we all were in some form or another. Thoughts and prayers don't always feel sufficient in moments like these, but i express them anyway to anyone and all that experienced this attrocity up close and personal. And to those men and women of service that lost their lives on that day and since as the after affects take their toll, May God Bless you all and hold you tight...

**Jamie & Toni 9/11/2001 **

(it would be a sin to avoid it)

It was late. The dust was still floating out over the Hudson and onto the Atlantic. There was an eerie silence that lay all around. Time had stopped. Like the world had stopped earlier that day when everything came crashing down around them. Wandering souls walked dazedly through the streets whilst still covered in dust and strangers were holding hands and whispering silent prayers. What had the world come too? Where and why had this happened to this city? THIS CITY? The city that never sleeps. The city that was too good they named it twice. NEW YORK, NEW YORK.

Amongst the wandering souls were two young adults, one 18 the other 16. Holding onto each others' hands, too afraid to let go. They sat resting on the Manhattan side of the Brooklyn Bridge watching as other souls walked by.

"I should get you home," whispered Jamie as he looked at Toni. Toni shivered. "You cold?" asked Jamie as he took off his school jacket and put it around her shoulders.

"I think it's just the adrenaline wearing off," she sobbed and wiped her nose with the back of her hand. "I can't believe this," she added as she buried her head into Jamie's neck. Although they'd been an "item" for almost two years they weren't really in a relationship that any of their families took seriously.

"You did good. Your dad will be so proud of you," said Jamie quietly as he held her close.

"Yeah? What about you? You did more. I mean, we should've both been at school yet we took off as soon as we were told of the attacks to look for our fathers. We haven't found them yet even though we know that they've called home. I always speak to dad at least once a day. I never got that chance today," she cried.

"You will speak to him soon. And it'll be the minute you see him," promised Jamie as he took her into his arms and faced her directly. "I gotta get you home to your ma. She'll be going crazy that you're still out here with me."

"Jamie? I don't wanna go home, i wanna stay out here with you" she whispered afraid.

"Your dad will kill me if i don't!" he exclaimed as he tried to read the pleading look she was giving him.

"He'll know i'm with you. He trusts you with me. Please? I don't wanna leave you," she begged as she looked into his eyes. Jamie realised what Toni was trying to tell him and he felt it too. They had wasted so many years skirting around each other that they had to find out if they had any chance at all.

Just as Jamie was leaning in to kiss Toni, they heard the voices, "Jamie! Toni!" The young adults pulled apart and turned to see Joe Reagan and his TO, Tony Renzulli approaching them.

"Oh my god! What are you still doing out here? Ma's going crazy!" yelled Joe as he pulled Jamie to his side.

"We were about to head to Toni's place so i could take her home," explained Jamie as he stumbled on his feet. "We stopped to rest a while. Toni's been helping the medical team from King's General to patch people up as they've tried to get home..."

"And Jamie was helping others get across the bridge and home too with the help of his class-mates and their cars," added Toni as she embraced her father.

"You two were to go straight home once released from school, not come out into this...madness!" yelled Renzulli as he shook his daughter's shoulders.

"I'm sorry, dad! I wanted to help! So many people were afraid and hurt. I had to do something..." she cried, frightened as he father's response. Renzulli immediately stopped shaking his daughter and hugged her close.

"I'm sorry, kid. I was just so worried about you. Your mom has been beside herself..." he choked. "It's just that with all that we've seen today i'm just so glad to see you alive.."

Joe held his brother close, "Ditto for me, bro! Dad, Danny and Grandpa have been going mad since ma told us you were home. C'mon let's get back before they send another search party for us," Joe pulled at Jamie as they turned to head over the Brooklyn Bridge. Jamie turned to see Toni going in the opposite direction.

Was this a sign of what was to come?


	6. Chapter 6

i know its getting a little down but i promise it'll come back up again. gotta get past the bad reagan days somehow!

**Jamie & Toni 2005**

Easter had come and gone. Daffodils wilting in gardens. Families preparing for the brace of summer...Well, not all families. One in particular was waiting for something else. The Reagans spent most of their days recently walking the halls of St Victor's hospital waiting for that moment. The moment they knew was coming and one that could no longer be avoided.

"Chief Reagan?" called the young nurse. All eyes looked towards the voice in the doorway. "Chief Reagan, she's asking for you," smiled Toni, with tears in her eyes.

"Is...is it time?" asked Frank quietly as he watched this young woman come forward. She took his hands and smiled softly.

"No, not yet. She is getting weaker but she wants to talk with each of you individually. Dr Keller has given me permission to stay with her till the end on account that i've known her all my life," smiled Toni, trying not to cry and stay professional.

"You've made a wonderful nurse, Toni. Graduating early from your class was something. Your dad is so proud of you," smiled Frank as he hugged the young woman.

"And i'm proud of my dad, especially more so since he made Sergeant! I thought that was never going to happen!" she laughed. She turned to the rest of the Reagan clan and said, "She'll want to speak with you all for a few minutes so can i ask that you listen to her and not interrupt what she has to say. It's important to her that she speak with you."

"Typical mom! Always has to have the last word!" laughed Erin, tearfully. Toni smiled at her before leading Frank back to the room where Mary was resting.

"I can wait outside, if you'd like?" offered Toni.

"No, i think i'd feel better if you were hovering around the room, just in case she needs anything," pleaded Frank. Toni smiled softly and opened the door. "Hello, Mary. I'm here," he whispered as he took her hand and sat down beside his wife's bed.

"Frank! You're still here?" breathed Mary as she took a firm grip of her husband's hand. "I need to tell you a few more things before i go. I want you to promise me that you'll see to my wishes and look after the family. I can't be there for them like i would like to be, it's up to you now. I did all the hard work for you, now you need to hold them together.." she smiled.

Frank nodded his head as he fought back his tears. Mary's eyes glistened as she watched the man she loved.

"Danny and Linda have two little boys that are both adorable and going to be troublesome like their father! Make sure you guide Danny right with them. He and Linda have a strong marriage like ours but is temper will get in the way at times. Since he got back from Iraq he's been distant. Reach out to him, you know what it's like to see combat. Guide him home, Frank" pleaded Mary. Frank sniffed and nodded his head and let Mary continue.

"Erin is beautiful, smart and so head-strong she'll never ask for help. She and jack are having problems, i know that. She won't admit it to you or me so keep her safe and close. Nicki is a shining star and will be her mother's angel in the hard times but you have to be her rock," Mary groaned slightly as the pain of her cancer swift through her ravaged body.

"Do you need some more pain relief, Mrs Reagan?" offered Toni as she came to the offer side of the bed to check on the fluid drip.

"No, child, i'll be okay. Was Jamie in the waiting room?" asked Mary as she watched the young nurse.

"Yes, ma'am, he was. Do you want me to get him for you?" asked Toni, gently. Mary shook her head slowly.

"Not yet. I'll let you know when it's time," she smiled and then returned to her husband's eyes. "Joe is in love with Angie. Encourage him to do something before he regrets it!" she smiled. Frank laughed again and was about to say something in return when Mary spoke again. This time her breathing more laboured. Toni came over again to observe mary but was gently brushed away by the patient. Toni looked at Frank who nodded in understanding, Mary had begun to fade and was going quickly. He knew her time was short and that he had to let her speak before it was too late. He squeezed her hand to encourage her to finish her thoughts.

"Jamie. Jamie. My little angel," she cried as she turned to look at Toni. She knew that since they parted on the night of 9/11 their relationship had faltered as their lives began to change and take differing paths. "He'll make a wonderful lawyer, don't you think? Keep him in school, Frank. Keep him safe, please." With those words she closed her eyes as she tried to regain her strength.

"Mary? Mary?" sobbed Frank. Mary had slipped into a coma and her breathing was now even more laboured.

"Chief? Mr Reagan? Frank? I think it's time you got the family here to say goodbye," whispered Toni as she took the tall man's shoulders. "I'll get her comfortable for them," she promised. As she lead him out of the room, she indicated to Dr Keller that time was short.

Dr Keller came in the room with Toni as she returned to Mary. Dr Keller had taken the young nurse under her wing as she had seen the potential that she had and wanted her to do well in her profession, even willing to push her forward. Just as she was about to speak to the young nurse, Mary roused slightly.

"Toni. Oni? Are you still with me?" asked Mary, breathing deeply and searching for her hand. Toni looked for guidance from the Doctor who nodded her permission.

"I'm here, Mary," she replied and took her hand.

"Oni! My Jamie should never have let you go on that night. I know that you were young and that it wasn't appropriate but he shouldn't have let you go. You're the making of my boy. He'll make a fine...police officer one of these days," she smiled as Toni gasped. "Yes, i hear your shock. I'll admit it to o one but you. Look out for my Jamieson. Look out and love my Jammie..." she whispered as she quietly slipped away just as frank and the family entered the room.

With all eyes on Toni, they took in the scene. Mary had passed silently away from her family before they could really say goodbye. Father McMurray came forward and began saying a prayer. Frank, Henry, Erin, Linda, Danny and Joe walked towards the bed as Toni quietly slipped behind them. She watched Jamie as he stared at his mother's body before turning angry eyes on her.

He shook his head and screamed at her, "No!" before running out of the room and down the corridor passed Sergeant Renzulli who had come by to pay his respects. Toni tried to follow but was not quick enough. Renzulli saw the look on his daughter's face, he knew without having to ask. He smiled softly at his daughter and turned around to look for Jamie.

"She had the last few minutes with her! She took that away from me!" he shouted as Renzulli caught up with him in the quiet garden, outside St Victor's.

"No, she was there doing her job, kid." Explained Renzulli as he sat down beside him on the bench.

"I had so much i wanted to say to her," seethed Jamie as he punched his fists together.

"That was my mom! I should've been in there with her, not Toni! How could she?!" he yelled. Renzulli watched as the young man struggled with his temper. It was something he never really saw and that Toni never mentioned before.

"You have every right to be angry. Your ma passed too early from life. But she wouldn't want you to be angry at anyone over this. Least of all, Toni.." sighed Renzulli. Jamie just glared at him.

"I'll stay with him, thank you Sarge," called Joe as he caught up with his little brother. Renzulli, nodded at Joe before shaking his hand and offering his condolences to the family. "Thank Toni for me. I know she did a wonderful job at keeping ma comfortable to the end."

"I will. If it's ok, we'll be at the funeral. If there's anything, and i mean, anything we can do for you and the family, please. Don't hesitate," offered Tony as he shook his former rookie's hand and left the grieving brothers alone in the garden.

"Don't be mad at her. She was doing her job," explained Joe as he took a hold of his youngest sibling.

"But i am! Ma's gone and she couldn't save her," he sobbed.

"It's not Toni's fault. Ma had cancer. There was nothing more Toni or the doctors could do but keep her comfortable. Don't blame Toni, it'll only make things worse for you. She's your best friend and you love her..." sighed Joe, but was interrupted.

"I don't love her. I hate her!" he spat and pulled himself from his brother's hold and ran. He ran straight passed Toni without a second glance. Joe tried to make chase but knew it was pointless. He looked at Toni and knew from her shocked expression that she had heard Jamie's rant.

"He doesn't mean it," apologised Joe. Toni looked to her feet and gathered her emotions.

"It's ok, Joe. He has every right to be mad. I just hope he's not mad at me for long," she smiled. "I am so sorry for your loss, Joe" she sniffed as she hugged him.

"We knew it was coming. I guess some of us had longer to digest the news than others." He shrugged. Toni knew what he meant and hugged him once more before taking her leave.

A week later...

"I just want to thank you all for coming to say farewell to my Mary. She was the love and light of my life. She gave me four wonderful children and many years of happy marriage. To my Mary!" breathed Frank as he raised his glass.

"To Mary!" chorused the guests as they too raised their glasses to heaven.

"Where's Jamie?" asked Danny as he looked around the room.

"I don't know. I haven't seen him in a while. Think he's in the back yard?" asked Joe as he headed for the kitchen.

"And where do you two think you're going? We have guests," snapped Erin. As she handed them a tray of food each to hand out.

"Going to look for Jamie," sighed Danny as he put the tray on the counter top with a bang. Linda looked up from the table where she had been preparing more snacks. "He's not here. We need to make sure he's ok. He's not handling any of this well,"

"Hey, Danny! He'll be fine. He's probably off somewhere gathering his thoughts. Leave him be. He's angry wit everyone right now," reassured Linda as she hugged her husband.

"I just don't like him being this quiet, y'know. He's not good at holding everything inside, he'll explode!" groaned Danny as he flopped onto a chair. Joe and Erin sat beside the oldest Reagan sibling and took his hands.

"He'll be home when he's ready," sighed Erin. Danny looked at her and then to Joe but said no more.

Outside the kitchen door, Toni had heard the conversation. Jamie had been avoiding her calls ever since Mary passed away and he wouldn't let her visit him at Joe's apartment. He had Joe stand guard. Toni just wanted to make sure he was alright and now, he had disappeared from the house. There was only one place to look. She grabbed her coat and bag and slipped out of the house, down the front path, turned left and walked slowly towards the graveyard where Mary now lay.

Sitting on the ground, next to the mound of earth that was to fill the grave, Jamie sat looking but not reading the floral wreaths that adorned area. They were all for his ma. "Everyone loved you," he sniffed. "Why? Why didn't you tell me sooner? Why did you feel you had to protect me? I'm not a kid anymore! I know what goes on in life!" He rubbed his eyes raw with the sleeve of his coat.

"You'll get sore eyes doing that," said a quietly voice. Jamie didn't turn around. He knew who it was. "Everyone is looking for you back at the house," explained Toni as she stood by his side. "Can i sit with you?" Jamie shrugged his shoulders.

Toni sat down and read some of the flowers' cards. "She was a wonderful lady, Jammie" sighed Toni. Still he said nothing and looked away. "If this is how you want to be, then i don't blame you. I remember yelling that i hated you once, but i forgave you..." she smiled.

"This is not the same," he sulked.

"Maybe not but hate is a heavy word to use in haste," explained Toni. Jamie stayed quiet. Toni wanted to tell him what Mary had said to her before she died but it would fall on deaf, reluctant ears. "Jamie, look at me, please" pleaded Toni.

Jamie slowly turned to face her, "Why? Why did you have to take her last moments away from me?" he whispered, angrily.

"I didn't. She slipped away quicker than we anticipated. Sometimes our loved ones slip away before we get to say goodbye for a reason. I don't want to lose you over your ma. You're my oldest friend and i want to help you.." she cried, softly.

"I don't need your help. And i don't want you near me!" he yelled as he stood up quickly to leave.

"Jamie. Please" pleaded Toni but she knew it was too late. He was already out of sight. Toni was left by herself by Mary's side with no-one but Grandma Betty on the other. "I wanted to tell him what you told me. But he won't listen! He's got that stubborn streak in him that the denies he has! I'll tell him one day, if he ever forgives me,"

With that, Toni stood up from her spot and took hold of her rose. Purple, of course. "I'll miss you, Mary. I'll miss you everyday but i think i'll miss Jammie more." She sobbed as she let the rose fall into the grave. Toni took one more look around and a turned away...

Jamie had run to the gates of the graveyard and stopped abruptly. Something was pulling at him. He didn't know what it was but he was afraid to turn around and fight it off. Then a voice came to him.

"You stupid boy! You threw her away! She's been there for you, somehow but there. She was only looking after me. I went to sleep on my terms. I couldn't let you see me like that. Go back to her, you are going to need her more than you know. Jamie, she's your girl. Go get her back before it's too late,"

Jamie felt something cold but tender touch his cheek. He hadn't realised it until then he had been standing with his eyes closed and his hand on his heart. "Ma?" he exclaimed as he spun around. No one was there. "Oni!" he whispered. "God! I did it again!" he groaned and took off to find Toni. When he got to his mother's grave she was gone. "Damn it! No!" he collapsed to his knees and took his head in his hands.

Jamie sat there for a while, crying in pain as everything he had held in over the last week came flooding out. After an hour or more, it was getting dark and he knew his family would be sending out the search parties soon. He stood to leave but something caught his eye as he looked to brush himself down.

There by his feet was the rose Toni had thrown to Mary. It was by his feet. Jamie looked around. "Ma?" he asked again. He picked up the rose and smiled to himself.

"Purple. It always had to be purple,"


	7. Chapter 7

this is mild compared to what was in my head!

**Jamie & Toni 2009**

He looked like he was sleep. Really. He _was_ asleep. He's lying down on the job again. He really should get up off the ground before he catches cold. The joke's gone far enough now. Get up, Joe.

"Get up, Joe! You can't do this," whispered Toni as she knelt beside the body. She stroked his hair, just like she used to do to his little brother. "This is so wrong. Get up, Joe."

"Miss Renzulli, are you alright?" queried the crime scene investigator beside her. Toni didn't look around but kept her eyes focused on the ma lying on the ground. "Miss?" asked the investigator again.

"I'm ok, Jackson. It's just...I know this Detective. I grew up with his family. I just can't believe that it's him.." she whispered. The CSI placed a hand on Toni's shoulder to offer some silent comfort, which she gratefully received before being rudely brought back to reality.

"Get a grip, lady! This body needs to be moved!" snapped the new Medical examiner. Toni turned around and stood with a fierce look in her eye. The Medical examiner took a step back.

"You will address Detective Reagan with respect. Not only is he a decorated member of the NYPD, he is the Commissioner's son and a close family friend! How dare you speak so disrespectfully. If this is how you treat the individuals that come through your door then you are certainly out of touch," She snapped. The CSI had to hold back from applauding the young woman but stood watching her with respect. No one talks to the dead that way whether they are the Commissioner's son or a John Doe in the street.

"Jackson. Have you finished with your requirements?" asked Toni as she continued to stare the Medical examiner down.

"Yes, Miss. I am. Can i help you with Detective Reagan?" he offered. Toni turned to face the CSI and smiled kindly.

"Please. I'd like to get him back and presentable for the Commissioner and his family before the autopsy is started,"

"Then, i'll get the gurney," replied Jackson, leaving Toni alone with her thoughts. Mostly in her mind were thoughts on how Jamie was going to handle this loss especially so soon after his mother's passing.

After Mary had lost her battle with cancer and the funeral, Toni and Jamie had had little contact since the altercation at her graveside. Toni had kept in touch with the Commissioner and Henry through her nursing in the ER of St. Victor's hospital and regular NYPD functions that she attended with her father. She knew that Jamie had gone to Harvard to complete his studies in law and that she had lost his heart to a woman called Sydney. She had even seen them in the passing from a distance once one summer's day in Central Park. She was glad that he was happy but knew that the loss of Joe would bring his world crashing down around him. Was Sydney strong enough to cope with it?

Once Joe was placed on the gurney and the bag closed, the CSI and Toni wheeled the trolley to the waiting van. Before they got there, they had to pass an honour guard that had formed in the few yards from where Joe lay and the coroner's ambulance.

"This is for you Joe," smiled Toni as she passed his colleagues from the warrents' squad and the beat cops from his precinct. "They've done you proud," she sighed as she walked with him.

"Where's is he? Where's my son?" demanded Frank as he came through the doors of the Medical Examiner's office. "I have to see him!"

Close behind the Commissioner were the former PC, Henry Reagan; then Danny, Linda and Erin. The children being too young to be here, had been left with neighbours. The Medical Examiner was trying to calm the Commissioner down and keep him under control. Being new there and with his earlier faux par, Toni knew that it would only end in disaster.

"Commissioner?" she said quietly as she came from the room holding Joe's body. All eyes turned to her. The look of relief they showed was overwhelming. "I have your son waiting for you,"

"Toni? What?" stammered Frank, not knowing what to say.

"I'm on secondment to the ME's office for a few months. I hope you don't mid but i was on the responding team for the call. I haven't left his side until now. He's ready for you, sir" she smiled, softly. Frank drew himself up and grasped out for her hand.

"Thank you, Oni. Take me to my son," he pleaded. Toni looked at the rest of the family. Henry nodded his ascent and Danny looked ready to deck the ME, but the way was set and she took Frank to say goodbye.

Three days later...

"Hello?" groaned Toni as she fumbled to answer her phone. "Hello?"

No answer.

"If you're a sales person, go jump off of pier 17! If not, speak now or forever hold your peace!" she snapped.

"Oni?" said the quiet voice. Toni had to strain her ears to hear it. "Oni." Again but with more conviction. Toni's eyes opened wide. She knew that shy voice.

"Jammie?" she gulped, sitting bolt up in bed.

"Yeah. It's me. I'm sorry to wake you...I need to see you. Please" he begged.

Toni threw back her covers and walked to her kitchen. "Sure. When and where?" she asked.

"I'm outside your apartment. It's raining. Let me in, please?" he begged. Toni rushed to the window and looked out. The heavens were pouring and there was Jamie, soaked to the bone looking up at her.

"I'll come down," she replied as she grabbed her keys and hung up the phone.

Within minutes, they were back in the apartment and Toni had gotten some warm towels for Jamie to use. Toni went back to the kitchen to make some coffee while Jamie towelled down and looked around the apartment.

"Nice place," he smiled, nervously as he looked at all the pictures on the mantle.

"Thanks. Here, drink this, it'll warm you up," smiled Toni as she passed him a fresh cup of coffee. "I'm sorry about Joe," she mumbled. Jamie sat down, numbly. "I know it's a silly question, but how is everyone holding up?"

Jamie shrugged, "It's the funeral today. It's a big fancy police affair. It should just be family..." Toni sat forward and took his hand. Jamie continued, "But the NYPD is family. Just not _my_ family" he said bitterly.

"But it is," offered Toni, gently as she moved closer to Jamie. "There's something i never got to tell you after your mom died," Jamie looked at her with pain in his eyes. Toni knew what that pain was as she had been feeling it for years too.

"Your mom confided in me just before she slipped away that she knew you'd be happier as a cop..."

"She did? She said that?" he sobbed. Toni nodded, shyly. Instead of saying anything further, Jamie broke down and buried his head in her lap wrapping his arms tightly around her body. He cried solidly for almost an hour, with Toni gently stroking his hair, rubbing his back and just holding him tight.

"I'm so sorry for what i did to you. I should never have run away from you like i did. I've missed you so much," he sniffed as he tried to gather himself.

"It's ok. I forgave you a long time ago. As long as i can still call you my friend, my door will always be open, my shoulders ready and plenty of hankies available," she joked. Jamie smiled. "That's better! Been a while since i saw that look on your face,"

"It's been there!" he exclaimed as he shivered.

"Hey! You're freezing! Go jump in the shower. I'm sure i got some of Joe's old clothes somewhere in the closet you can use," offered Toni.

"And why would you have some of his clothes in your apartment?" queried Jamie with a smirk.

"Ok, less of those ideas, Jammie! He crashed at my place a few weeks ago when his place was being fumigated. He and Angie had a falling out prior and he didn't want to stay with your dad, so i offered him the spare room," explained Toni.

"I'm glad he and Angie sorted things out before..." Jamie stalled and turned to Toni, "Why?"

"I don't know, Jammie. I wish i had some answers but i don't," she sighed as she showed him the bathroom.

"Don't go far," he asked as he went inside.

"I'm going to get you those clothes. Do you need me to call anyone for you?" asked Toni. Jamie shook his head. "What about Sydney?"

"Definitely not Syd," he snapped. Toni was astonished by the reply. "She doesn't understand...I..I'll explain after my shower. Please don't go too far,"

Twenty minutes later, refreshed and warmed up, Jamie returned to the kitchen of Toni's flat where she was busy making some food. He stood in the doorway and watched her, oblivious to his presence. He'd run away from this girl, time and time again but now he was engaged to Sydney. They were going through a tough patch and Joe's death wasn't helping the situation but here was one person who would really understand. Jamie took a step forward and gently placed his hands around Toni's waist and pulled her into his arms.

"Jamie! What are you?..." exclaimed Toni but her words were cut short by Jamie's lips meeting hers. She struggled against his body, knowing that this move was wrong and that he was with Sydney but all the years of love took over her emotions. She wrapped her arms around Jamie's neck and returned the kiss. Soon their mouths were searching for something more as passion and desire mounted.

"This is wrong..." breathed Toni as she felt Jamie's hands begin to wander.

"I know but it feels right. I wasted so much time without you. I need you, Oni. Please," he begged as he started to lead her out of the kitchen and into her bedroom. Toni knew that she should stop this before it was too late but he was like a drug to her at this time and she needed him too. Before long, the door to her bedroom closed behind them and they were lost to each other at last.

As they lay entwined in each others' arms a few hours later, they knew that they were on borrowed time. It would soon be time for Jamie to leave in order to get back to his father's home for the funeral. Neither wanted this moment to end.

"Why did we waste all those years?" asked Jamie as he kissed Toni's forehead.

"You're stubborn, pig-headed and a Reagan!" smirked Toni as she stroked his chest. She could feel him giggling silently to himself.

"Hmmm! Like that is it?" he quipped as he lifted her face to meet his.

"Just about!" she whispered and kissed him gently before pushing herself up and away from Jamie.

"What?" he whispered as he stroked her back.

"I have to give you back now," she muttered. Jamie sat up behind her and wrapped his arms around Toni.

"I'm joining the academy next month and moving back in with dad to help cover my finances. Sydney hates the idea of me joining the NYPD. But i want to. Joe got me the application for the test. He was proud that i had decided to join..." said Jamie as he clinged to Toni for comfort.

"You'll make a fine police officer, Jamie. I know it's the right thing for you to do but promise me one thing, if you can?" smiled Toni through her tears.

"What's that?" asked Jamie as he gently kissed her neck.

"Stay safe." She whispered as she let Jamie take over her one last time.

They kissed goodbye at the end of the road to Jamie's street. Toni sat back in the taxi and cried silent tears as the streets of New York drove past on the way to the church for Joe's funeral.

"Where the hell have you been?" demanded Danny as he came storming down the stairs at Jamie.

"I had to be by myself a while," he shrugged, not making any eye contact.

"Hey! That's not an answer! Syd's been going crazy with worry over you!" barked Danny as he grabbed his brother's arm and observed him closely. "Why are you wearing Joe's tee-shirt?"

"I got caught in the rain..." mumbled Jamie as he wriggled out of Danny's grip.

"That didn't answer my question" seethed Danny as he pulled Jamie into the kitchen.

"Jamie!" exclaimed Erin as she put down her coffee mug and and rushed to hug her little brother.

"Erin! I'm fine" he snapped as he pulled away. Erin looked at Jamie and then to Danny. She too noticed the change of clothes. "You'd better hurry, the cars will be here soon." Jamie shrugged as he poured a cup of coffee and headed for the door.

"I'm joining the Academy next month. I'm joining the NYPD" he announced as he turned at the kitchen door. Both Danny and Erin stood there with their mouths wide open in shock. "Yes, Dad does know. And, no, he's not stopping me. This is my choice and i want you to respect it. Please," he begged, quietly before leaving his siblings acting like goldfish.

"Now we know why he and Sydney have been at loggerheads recently," sighed Linda as Danny told her about Jamie's decision. Danny was still trying to calm down over Jamie's disappearance that morning than the decision over the police academy.

"Danny? Are you listening to me?" asked Linda as she touched his face.

"Sorry, babe. I just wanna know where he went today. How did he end up in Joe's clothes? He doesn't have a key to Joe's place, does he?" asked Danny. Linda shrugged her shoulders as she tried to reach out to her husband. "He's hiding something..." muttered Danny as he followed Linda to one of the waiting cars.

Sydney didn't give Jamie much peace either when he came back, demanding where he had been; Where the change of clothes came from; why, now was he choosing to go to the police academy when he had several job offers waiting for him?

"It's what i want to do. Why can't anyone just except my decision?" he seethed as he held Joe's shield in his pocket and fought back his tears, more in frustration than in grief at this time.

"Jamie. I love you, i do. I'll back you no matter where you go. I just don't understand the sudden change in direction after three years at Harvard," sighed Sydney as she took his hand as they walked downstairs and out of the house.

"It's want i want. It's what i've always wanted, that should be enough," he sighed as he climbed into the funeral car next to Erin and Nicki. His sister and niece watched the young couple but said nothing for fear of upsetting the cart even more.

The funeral went in a blur. Voices speaking in the distance in muted tones that Jamie tried to hear but couldn't. The tears he cried for his brother flowed freely. Sydney stood by his side throughout and held his hand, turning to look at him every few minutes or so, trying to reach out to him but he was miles away and going further with every minute.

Toni sat with her mother and father further up in the church on the opposite side from the Reagans, listening to the voices but, just like Jamie, not really hearing anything but her own thoughts. Renzulli already knew that Jamie was to be his new rookie should he qualify from the academy. The Commissioner had pulled him up to the 14th floor the minute Jamie's application was submitted to his desk.

"He's joining the academy, Tony. I know that he'll fly through, he excels at all that he does. You looked after Joe. Now i'm asking you in advance to look after Jamie when the time comes," said Frank during the solemn meeting the day before the funeral.

"Sir. It would be my privilege to take Jamie under the wing but if it's not too bold to ask, isn't this kinda sudden? In the heat of the moment given everything that has happened?" asked Renzulli.

"Tony, his heart has been desiring this since he was old enough to know what the uniform was. I know that Mary didn't want this. But he has to follow his heart," sighed Frank as he turned from the window and looked at the Sergeant before him. "In more than just his career choices,"

Renzulli looked at his daughter as he returned to the moment. He watched the tears skip down her face as she continued to look at the floor and not the casket in front. He took her hand in his and smiled as she lifted her face to his. He knew then that something more was praying on her heart.

After the burial everyone gradually moved away, gave their condolences to the family, shook hands, made salutes and shared hugs. Sydney moved from Jamie's side to follow the family and give him some time to say goodbye one last time. As she got to the car, she turned to watch her fiancé. Soon she was filled with jealousy as she watched Jamie take the hand of a young woman by his side. "Who is she?" she seethed quietly. Danny turned to see what had upset Sydney so.

"Oh, that's Oni. She and Jamie have been friends since the day she was born. She was there for Joe, for us on that last night," he said affectionately as he watched Sydney. He'd never really taken to this girl Jamie had found at college. He tolerated her but knew the right girl was by his brother's side when he needed her.

"What are they doing? It's a funeral!" she hissed. Danny watched his brother again.

"They're not doing anything but saying goodbye, Syd," growled Danny, bringing Sydney back from her jealousness. She turned to Danny and placed a fake smile on her face as she tried to apologise. Danny knew better. This girl would not last the distance once Jamie was on the beat.

"Hey, you ok?" whispered Jamie, as he took Toni's hand.

"As good as i can be, given everything. You?" sniffed Toni as she hugged him.

"They all disapprove of my choice," he sighed as he jerked his head towards Danny and Sydney. Toni looked over his shoulder and caught the jealousy in Sydney's eyes.

"I think she sees me as a threat right now," sighed Toni.

"She should," smiled Jamie, sadly.

"If ever the time comes and she's not there, i will be. You've always had my heart and now you've had my body. I can't give you up, Jammie but i know i have to. Good luck at the academy." She whispered as she wiped the stray tear from his face before turning away and walked towards her waiting father leaving Jamie alone by the open grave.

"She'll wait for you, Jamie. Just don't leave it too long like i did. Angie should be a Reagan but i left it too late. Sydney's not your girl. She doesn't know what it's like out on the streets. Toni understands," whispered Joe.

"Syd's got ma's ring. We can adjust," muttered Jamie.

"Keep telling yourself that, if it works for you," smirked Joe as he struck Jamie's shoulder.

"What you smiling at?" asked Danny as he hit Jamie's shoulder.

"Joe," smiled Jamie as he looked to his older brother.

"Joe?" mused Danny. "Giving you the best of his advice, is he? Typical, Joe! C'mon, kid. You gotta get ready for the academy."

"I'm gonna make him proud, Danny. I promise," he said as he put his arm around Danny's shoulders.

"I know you will, kid. I know you will." Whispered Joe as he watched his brothers walk away, together.


	8. Chapter 8

Not overly happy with this one but its here!

**Jamie & Toni 2010**

She had stood and watched the crowds disperse, smiling sadly to herself as she observed the graduates celebrate with their families. She had received an invite but felt it would be wrong to attend especially as Sydney was standing beside him holding on to her prized possession.

"You made it, Jamie!" she whispered to herself as she watched the young officer celebrate with his family. "Now, Joe. It's up to you to watch over him and keep him safe for me," she sighed as she said a silent prayer before moving away and towards home.

The Reagan Family celebrated in true family style with laughter and tears, drinks and toasts to those not there for this occasion. One who was not there was running a case for a missing child. He knew he had to find her and any means necessary would be used to make it stick.

24 hours later...

"Hey, dad!" exclaimed Toni as she saw her father walk into the ER. He didn't look too happy. Behind him was a shocked looking Jamie. "You guys ok?" she asked. Jamie was pale.

"You know anything about the kid involved in the domestic that came in earlier today?" asked Renzulli as he watched his new young charge. Toni looked between the two officers.

"Yeah. It's not good. The little boy's spine was fractured. He's paralysed, unfortunately. Did you get the guy?" responded Toni as she watched the new rookie.

"Yeah, we got the guy. We just wanted to check on the kid," replied Renzulli as he played with his hat in his hands. "I think i'll get this kid a coffee," he added as he nodded towards Jamie.

"I'm ok, Sarge, really. It's just...I wasn't expecting it..." he mumbled as he looked to his feet, embarrassed.

"Listen, i'm due my break. How about i buy you both a cup of awful coffee!" smiled Toni as she playfully swatted Jamie's shoulder. The two officers accepted the offer and followed her to the cafeteria.

"Listen, i gotta take this call. It's your mother," groaned Renzulli as he got up from their table, trying to subtly give them a few minutes alone.

"Makes it obvious, don't he?" laughed Toni. Jamie turned to watch his TO wander off, talking into his cell phone.

"He's some piece of work," he smirked, shaking his head.

"Ahh! And Joe didn't warn you about him very well, did he?" giggled Toni as she watched Jamie drink his coffee. "So? How has your first few days on the job been?"

"New. Different. Unexpected. Exciting. Scary." He breathed, looking at her.

Now it was Toni's turn to blush, "How are you and Sydney getting on with the transition?"

"Still adjusting..." he replied as he slowly moved his hand from his cup and tried to cover hers. Toni pulled her hand away before they touched. "I haven't heard much from you since i started at the academy," he whispered.

"Been busy here in the ER," she said, clearing her voice with an awkward cough and averting her eyes from his gaze.

"You know what i mean..." sighed Jamie as he took his hand back to his cup. They sat looking at each other for what seemed like minutes when it was only mere seconds.

Toni took a breath, "We crossed the line, Jamie. It wasn't fair on Sydney. I think she knows..."

Jamie looked at her in surprise. Toni answered for him, "She came to see me in the ER a couple of months back. Made it look like two friends catching up. But she was on a mission to tell me that i was to back off and that she was going to be the next Mrs Reagan."

"I'm sorry, Toni. She should never have done that to you," he stammered. "I know what we did was wrong but i also know that, in my heart, it was right. I needed you. You. Not Syd. I guess it was selfish of me to put you in that position but i have no regrets. If i had to turn back the clock, i'd do it all over again." His eyes stared long and hard into hers. He ment every word. Toni nodded. "What you said to me afterwards..."

"I meant what i said at the graveside..." she whispered as she saw her father returning to the table.

"Sorry, kid. We gotta go! Meal break's over!" he announced as he collected his hat and bent to kiss his daughter. "You still on for dinner tonight?" he asked.

"Sure dad! I told mom to be round for 1930. And don't forget the wine!" smiled Toni as she watched the two men take their leave. Jamie exchanged a warm smile with Toni and followed his TO. She would have to tell him her secret eventually...But for now he didn't need the added stress.

3 months later...

"Is Jamie doing ok?" asked Toni as she walked through the corridors of St. Victor's with her father.

"He's getting beat up by IA but i think he's handling himself ok. You should call him..." suggested Renzulli. Toni scoffed at him. "What?"

"Call Jamie? Listen, Sydney would kill him before she let me talk to him,"

"I got a feeling that ain't going to be a problem for ya!" winked Renzulli. Toni turned to face her father. He shrugged, "You didn't hear it from me but i think they broke up."

"You think?" quizzed Toni as she watched his face.

"Argh! Alright! He told me last night that she gave him back the ring a couple of days ago. He hasn't told the family yet..." replied Renzulli in hushed tones.

"She called it off?" asked an astonished Toni.

"Huh-huh! Seems she got a job offer in London and took it. So Harvard, is all alone. In that fancy loft apartment of his," winked Renzulli.

"Dad!" exclaimed Toni as she blushed.

"Listen, kid. I know i tease ya and whatever but you's my girl. I know something happened between the pair of you. I just, think you have to get your heads together and work this out," admitted Renzulli as he watched his daughter's face.

Toni sat down on an empty bench in the art corridor of the hospital and put her head in her hands. Renzulli sat with her, "It happened on the day of Joe's funeral, didn't it?" he asked softly.

Toni nodded, "It was like he was dying inside and i was the only one to breathe life back to him. Dad, i love him so much it hurts but how can we possibly have a chance now?.." she sobbed.

The Sergeant sat down beside her and put his arm around her shoulder, "Something else happened?" Toni couldn't look at her father now. "Tell me, please?" he begged.

"I can't," she replied with tears gliding down her face. Renzulli turned his daughter's face so he could look at her. She'd tell him when she was ready. All she wanted now was to hug her dad.

3 months after that...

"Are you ok?" asked Toni as she let Jamie into her apartment late one Sunday night. "You look awful"

"Thanks!" he scoffed as he sat down at the breakfast bar gingerly.

"Jamie? Are you hurt?" asked Toni as she watched his careful movements. Jamie looked back at her and nodded.

"I think someone cut the brake lines to the chevelle," he muttered. Toni sat down beside him in shock as he continued to explain, "Have you ever heard of the Blue Templer? They're a secret fraternity within the NYPD."

"Go on," prompted Toni as she watched Jamie. He took a deep breath and went on.

"I was approached by two FBI agents at the end of my first week on the job. They had a recording of Joe. He was working with them trying to get inside the Blue Templer. Anyway, he got inside and, and.." he couldn't finish as he looked to Toni.

"Oh god, no? Please tell me it's not how i think it ends?" she gasped. Jamie nodded, sadly. "They killed Joe? Who were they?" she asked.

Jamie shrugged, "I don't know. I think one of them is a detective called Sonny Malevsky..." he said. Toni groaned. "What?"

"He was at the scene when i arrived. He led the honour guard to the coroner's van for Joe. How could he stand there and act like he did nothing wrong? He helped me and Jackson put Joe in the van..." she faultered.

"I know that they did this. I also think that they killed Lydia Gonsalves, she worked with Joe too. She left a message with her sister for me, stating that the guys on Joe's squad had killed him. Shit! Oni! What am i going to do? They just tried to kill me tonight," he sobbed.

"Have you told your father? Danny?" asked Toni as she watched the young officer hold his head as he shook it. "You have to tell them. Maybe tell Danny first and then he can help you to take it to your dad," she suggested. Again, Jamie shook his head before wincing in pain.

"Where did you hurt yourself?" asked Toni as she stood up.

"My front and side. I think it's from the seat belt when i impacted the barrier," he shrugged as he tried to straighten up.

"Let me take a look," offered Toni as she helped Jamie to remove his jacket. "Did you lose consciousness at anytime?

"No," he said as he shook his head. Toni moved closer as she began to undo the buttons of his shirt. Jamie's hands went to her hips and he moved into her. He could hear her soft breaths and feel her hands shaking.

"You're not helping this go any easier.." she whispered as his shirt came off. Jamie stood still and kept his hands on her hips as she pulled his tee-shirt up over his torso revealing newly forming bruises. "You should go to the hospital really"

"I don't want to go. I want to stay here, with you," he answered as he helped pull the tee-shirt over his head. Toni wasn't meeting his eyes, they were firmly fixed on his chest. "Toni? Please?" he begged as he lent in to kiss her. Toni answered only with her kiss and her hands as they gently caressed his bruised body. "Don't let me let you go again!" he pleaded as they moved through her apartment.

The next day as Jamie and Toni saw the morning rise in each other's arms, they lay deep in thought. Jamie was stroking her hair as he nuzzled into her neck, giving her little kisses when he saw the scar.

"What happened?" he asked as he fingered the scar. Toni tried to stifle a sob as she moved her hand to her neck. Jamie grew concerned. "Tell me,"

"Louis. He...He attacked me a couple of months after Joe's funeral," she sobbed as she turned her face to the pillow. Jamie tried to pull her back. "Jamie...I...I... was pregnant," she cried. Jamie lifted his head as he took in her words.

"Pregnant?" he whispered. Toni stayed quiet but for small sobs of pain.

"Toni? Why didn't you tell me?" he asked quietly. "Please look at me,"

"I haven't even told dad. I managed to tell Dr Keller before i passed out, but Louis knew. I think that's why he did it. He'd been going through my trash, i caught him. He found the test. He went insane and lashed out." She explained, as she turned onto her back and looked up to Jamie. "I wanted to tell you so many times but i backed out. I even tried to see you at the academy but you were always with your colleagues or with Sydney. It just never was the right time."

"Jeez. You had to go through that alone?" he asked, confused.

"Jamie, we didn't commit to anything. It was a one night stand, technically," she smiled weakly. Jamie nodded in agreement.

"Maybe. But you were there for me when i needed you. I should have been there for you," he sighed as he stroked her face.

"You are now," she smiled as she pulled him down so that their lips met. "You are now," Jamie smiled and pulled her to his body once more.

A few hours later, Jamie was on the phone to his brother. "Can you meet me at dad's, there's something i need to talk to you about."

"Sure. You ok, kid?" asked Danny, hearing the tenseness in his brother's voice.

"I hope so, Danny." He sighed as he hung up the phone and turned to Toni. "It's now or never, i guess?"

"I'm here when this is over," she smiled as she handed him his jacket. They kissed once more before Jamie took his leave to face the inevitable showdown he'd been avoiding for months.

It had been three days since Jamie had left her apartment before he returned to her. The story of the Blue Templer had been all over the news and the arrested officers made to do the walk of shame through central booking. Jamie had his own walk of shame to do when he told Toni of his moment with Laura.

"What's so funny?" he huffed. "I'm trying to tell you that i slipped up with this girl," he added, slightly miffed by her reaction.

"Ahh Jammie! Have you any idea how good looking you are to a damsel in distress? No! You don't! There are going to be times when "the moment" gets in the way. That's what happened to us before Joe's funeral and on Sunday. I'm not going to lose it over a kiss! I might if there was more! I'm joking!" she laughed as she watched his face. He was struggling with shock and embarrassment. "I've waited for you for this long! We're bound to have some stumbling blocks along the way but we'll get there, if you're willing to give us a try," she smiled.

Jamie took her hands in his, "I'm not perfect. I want to get something right in my life. I'm hoping it's going to be you," he replied as he pulled her close once more.


	9. Chapter 9

stick with it just a bit longer...

**Jamie & Toni 2012**

Remember that Sunday dinner with the hysterics? Yeah, that one! Well, the human garbage disposal unit was thinking back on it and other moments over the last year as he sat down in Toni's apartment after leaving his father's house in Bay Ridge. His father had put the box in his pocket when he wasn't looking. Now it was in his hand and he was looking down at it with a strange sense of accomplishment and pride. He finally realised that the last six months or so of undercover work had taken more of a toll on his family and himself than he had anticipated.

"What's that you got?" asked Toni as she came from the bedroom and sat next to him. She looked into the box. "That what i think it is?" Jamie nodded. He didn't have any secrets from Toni. He had told her as much as was safe to tell about the Sanfino case, including Bianca, and the fire rescue that saw Renzulli, her father, take the credit for Jamie's actions.

"He slipped it in when i wasn't looking." He said as he passed the box to Toni. "How did he do that?"

"He's your dad! He's been known to have a sneaky streak in him at times!" she winked as she looked at Jamie. Jamie smiled back at her. She was one secret that he hadn't disclosed to his family, although when they did come clean it wouldn't be so much of a surprise...Just a shock as to how they managed to stay secret for so long!

"You made him proud, Jammie" smiled Toni as she kissed him.

"But at what cost? I put your dad in a difficult position. I had to go find him the other night after the ceremony. He left the precinct before i could get a chance to talk with him," sighed Jamie as he sat back on the sofa and put his arm around Toni.

"I know. It takes a strong man to stand up and do what he did. Mom was so proud of him...Don't worry she doesn't know the truth. He's been mobbed by her since the presentation!" she giggled.

"I'm proud of him too. I know i had to keep a lot from him and still do but i'm gad dad asked him. He took a bullet for me in many ways," explained Jamie.

"That's one way of looking at it," shrugged Toni.

"I'm not sure how Danny sees it, but.." sighed Jamie, getting all tense.

"What's up? Having problems with Danny again? He's your brother, Jammie. He only wants what's best for you and to keep you safe," replied Toni as she watched his face.

"He still acts like i'm a rookie. What do i have to do to get his respect?" fumed Jamie as he sat up abruptly.

"Hey! He'll come around. There have been times this year when i thought he was close to treating you more of an equal on the team. He's still adjusting, i guess." She shrugged again.

"How long does he need to adjust?" asked Jamie, getting more and more irate.

"Okay, simmer that Reagan temper!" insisted Toni. Jamie looked at her and slowly began to calm down. "Your brother and you are so alike it's getting scary!"

"We're not alike," scoffed Jamie. Toni smirked at him. "We're NOT!"

"If you say so," she smiled as she pulled him back with her on the sofa. Jamie fell back with her and took her in his arms.

"We're going to have to tell them soon. We can't keep hiding like this," he sighed.

"I know! It's just i like us being able to feel free and relaxed without the expectations of the families regarding our relationship" whispered Toni as she let Jamie kiss her neck. "Are you listening to me?" she asked as she felt Jamie's hands wandering across her body.

"Not really!" he teased as his mouth found hers.

"You...You're...incorrigible!" she squealed as Jamie began to devour her body.

A couple of weeks later while Toni was busy on shift in the ER, two plain clothed detectives entered the department and spoke with Dr Keller.

"What's going on?" asked Toni to one of her colleagues.

"Dunno! But whatever it is, Keller don't look too happy about it!" whispered the nurse. Just as Toni was about to say something else Dr Keller and the two detectives approached her.

"Nurse Renzulli, could you come to my office please?" asked Dr Keller, kindly.

"Yes of course, Doctor." Replied Toni and followed her and the Detectives giving her friends a "Who knows?" kind of shrug.

"Miss Renzulli. We're Detectives Smith and Western from the 8th Precinct. We've been asked to come and collect you. We have orders to take you to 1PP directly." Announced the darker Detective, Smith.

"Can i ask why?" replied Toni as she looked for some hint of information.

"We can't really say anything but we do need to go now," insisted Western, the other Detective.

"Am i allowed to call my father first?" asked Toni.

"I'm sorry ma'am but you'll need to wait until we get you to 1PP," replied Smith.

"Nurse Renzulli, it is important that you go with these gentlemen now. Please be assured that your position here will always be open for your return," smiled Dr Keller.

"Ok. Now you're just scaring me," stated Toni.

"We mean you no alarm but we have orders from the Commissioner himself to take you to his office. Please?" stated Smith as he indicated to the door. Toni nodded, followed the men to the locker room for her belongings and then to the waiting car to 1PP.

Meanwhile, Jamie had been accosted by two other detectives the night before and was now in his father's home under curfew! He hadn't been able to call Toni to tell her what was going on so he was worrying about her as well as being treated like toothpicks by his father.

"Ah! Toni. Thank you for coming," smiled Frank as he stood to greet her beside his desk.

"Cut the niceness! What the hell is going on?" she demanded.

"Watch the language young lady," came a stern voice behind her. Toni spun around to find her dad sitting in the comfy chairs. Toni glared at her father.

"What is going on? You're Detectives won't tell me anything and Jamie..." she stopped herself.

"And Jamie what?" asked the commissioner. Toni blushed.

"Jamie is fine. He's been confined to the house for a few days while we tie up some loose ends on a case..." Frank started to explain but was interrupted.

"Sanfinos?" asked Toni. Frank and Renzulli looked at her. "He hasn't told me all the details but i know enough that his life could be at risk if his true identity is revealed. That's why dad had to take credit for the baby save." She said. Frank and Renzulli continued to stare.

"So? Is he in danger?" asked Toni when the two men didn't answer straight away. Frank coughed to clear his throat.

"We don't know. What we do know is his alias is in danger. But we also know that someone else is at risk."

"Who?" asked Toni as she looked between the two men.

"You," replied her father. Toni just looked at him for a minute before starting to laugh.

"Yeah, right!?" she scoffed. The laughter and smiles soon disappeared when she saw the looks being exchanged. "How? I mean..."

"Louis. Louis was taken on by Noble's uncle Phil. Now we know this because of the wire tapes of recent days. As far as we can tell, Louis hasn't seen Jimmy Rhioden so therefore cannot make the link to Jamie. What we do know is, he asked Escalade Bobby to put a hit out on Officer Reagan. And you." Sighed Frank as he looked directly at Toni.

Toni was stunned into silence. Renzulli sat by his daughter and took her hand.

"Listen, we know you two haven't been overly close lately," Toni wanted to laugh again when her father said that." "But Louis has a violent temper. He attacked you a few years ago. Left you in intensive care. I cannot take that risk, you're mother would kill me,"

"So what do i do?" stammered Toni as reality dawned on her that what she was being told was serious.

"I know you're not going to like this idea but until we can arrest Louis and the others we need to get connected to the Sanfinos, we have to put you into protective custody. Out of state. " explained Frank.

"Leave New York? When?" whispered Toni, even then she knew it would be quick.

"You leave this afternoon. We've made arrangements with St Victor's to keep your post safe until you can return. We're even offering to cover costs for any further educational courses you may need to fulfil.." smiled Frank.

"Today? What? What about Jamie? Do i get to say goodbye?" she choked.

"I'm sorry but you can't do that. Even he can't be tod of your whereabouts." Explained Frank.

"But you will tell him the truth, that i didn't run away," she pleaded. Frank moved from behind his desk to sit on the other side of her and took her hand too.

"Oni, are you sleeping with my son?" asked Frank kindly. Toni looked at her father then down at her feet.

"yes, sir i am. For almost a year now. And now i have to leave him without saying goodbye? You have to tell him i'm not running away. Please?" she cried. She felt both men squeeze her hands before hearing the door knock. It was Detective Baker.

"Sir? The car is ready," she announced as she stood by the open door. Toni stood quietly, hugged the commissioner and then her father.

"Look out for him for me. You'd better bring me home soon," she said as she walked from the room.

Once gone, Frank turned to Renzulli, "She'll be ok. She's strong." Renzulli nodded. How many more sacrifices was his family willing to make for the Reagans?

"She's gone?" he exclaimed as he sat down in Toni's apartment upon finding Renzulli waiting for him there. He'd gone there straight from leaving his father's house once he had finished up the Sanfino case. "Why?" he asked. Renzulli sat beside his former charge and began to explain everything.

"She is coming back though, right?" pleaded Jamie as he watched hi Sergeant's face.

"I hope so kid, cause her mother is going to kill me if she doesn't!" he smiled weakly.

"How do we find Louis?" asked Jamie.

"You don't. That's someone else's job, kid. Right now, you have to go on like nothing's going on," insisted Renzulli.

"How do i do that Sarge? I'm in love with her!" he exclaimed.

"Don't i know that kid!" sighed Renzulli as he slapped Jamie's back and they sat in silence.


	10. Chapter 10

last chapter is here!

thanks to everyone who read and reviewed it has helped me to continue and have so much fun!

**Jamie & Toni 2013 **

Ten months is a long time. But ten months it had been. Away from home. Away from friends and family. Away from Jamie. This time was killing her. She got regular updates from the police commissioner on the case at hand and how Jamie was doing. He had a new partner that was proving to be a little testing but he was handling it well. She wanted to know if the police had found Louis yet but that was still on-going. She wanted to go home. She wanted to get back to her life and Jamie.

Jamie on the other hand was adjusting to single life once again. He even had time to catch up with an old college friend, Dana but that didn't go very far. He was still in love with Toni and was prepared to wait for her. He just wished that his father would tell him where she was.

"You know i can't tell you that. If Louis is watching you, then he'll follow you and finish what Escalade Bobby never got the chance to do," explained Frank to his son, yet again. "You've been getting antsy lately and that shows with your recent actions when Grandpa got mugged. You will sit this out. When i can bring her home, i will!" Jamie huffed and stormed out of the kitchen, straight passed Erin and Danny who had popped by earlier that night to drink and eat cannollis.

"Jamie?" called Erin as she watched her brother run out of the house.

"Told ya! Turning more and more like me by the day!" smirked Danny as he grabbed his coat to follow Jamie.

"In more ways than one!" growled Henry as he saw his son return from the kitchen. "Toni?"

"What you think?" sighed Frank as he swirled the whiskey in his glass.

"Is there any sign of her coming home soon?" asked Erin, watching her father's face.

"I'm still waiting on new Intel from Sam. I was hoping to bring her home soon. All this waiting isn't doing Jamie any favours," replied Frank as he put down his glass and headed for the stairs, "Goodnight, pop. Erin."

Erin turned to her grandfather after her father had left the room, "This isn't good for any of us. It's hurting dad because it's hurting Jamie. Sam has to find that creep soon."

"If i know Sam Croft, he'll be heading to Frank's office any day now with the information he needs. That cousin of Toni's is turning into one hell of a nasty piece of meat. He's not only attacked Toni but three other girls who look like her too." Said Henry as he watched his granddaughter stand and put on her coat.

"Well, one thing about Sam is he never comes back to dad with half a glass. Goodnight, grandpa," she smiled as she gave the old man a peck on the cheek.

"Goodnight," he sighed as he stood to follow his son up the stairs.

"Hey! Wait up!" shouted Danny as he followed Jamie out of the house.

"What now, Danny?" groaned Jamie as he stopped for his brother.

"Listen, kid. I know how you feel about this girl. But you gotta let dad do his job. If i could get any information outta him for you i would," replied Danny. Jamie scoffed.

"He hasn't told you anything? That i find hard to believe!"

"Believe it kid! He's frozen me out of this too! I guess he knows i'd probably tell you and then we'd both be jumping in to go bring Toni back! Look, i guess what i'm trying to say is, when the times right, she be home." Smiled Danny, before adding, "Then you'd better marry her before something else gets in the way!"

Jamie blushed and shuffled his feet on the sidewalk before Danny grabbed his shoulders and dragged him back to the car to take him home. "I just want her home!" he whispered.

2 weeks later, all hell broke loose due to two incidents. The first, Jamie was involved in a police shooting that turned out to be suicide by cop and he took it hard. The second, Sam Croft finally came back to the commissioner with an update on Louis Renzulli. It wasn't good.

"He's where?" asked Frank as he read the report on his desk not looking at his fixer.

"We don't know. Honestly, even my confident informers don't know. He was last seen in Boston, following Miss Renzulli," said Sam as he started to explain.

"Following Toni? How the hell did he find her?" asked Frank, angrily. Sam shifted awkwardly on his feet. "What else?" huffed Frank.

"He's been keeping a safe distance so not to alarm her. Nothing to show he has any plans on her at the moment," offered Sam. "We do know that he still has an apartment in this city and he comes back regularly. It looks like he's going between both Toni and Jamie."

Frank was surprised at this. "And Jamie hasn't noticed a thing," he sighed. Sam shock his head. Frank was left with a worrying thought and he had to find a way to end this, for everyone's sake.

"Sam. I want to bring her home but it will mean putting a team on both her and Jamie. I may have no choice but to use them both as bait," he announced. Sam was shocked.

"Use them? Surely you would talk to both of them first?" he asked. Frank didn't return the look. "Boss. I know that you want this situation resolved but surely you need to consider the risks," stated Sam.

"Don't think i haven't considered them? Jamie lost Sydney because of his job but also because he was in love with another woman. I am not going to have my son hurt again. These two were meant to be together but all that seems to be happening is this situation getting more and more like Romeo & Juliet!" huffed Frank as he threw his pen down on his desk. Sam stood watching his boss, not knowing what to say next.

"Baker, get Officer Reagan up to my office forthwith," announced Frank as he called for his assistant. Sam looked to his boss again.

"What do you plan?" he asked.

"Time for Jamie to go get his girl!" smiled Frank as he returned the look to his fixer. "I'm going to need you and Danny to help on this one and provide back up." Sam nodded and took out his cell to call Danny to come to his father's office.

"Are you serious? I can go get her?" stammered Jamie as he looked to his father then his brother.

"There is an element of risk here. Louis is still in the wind, either here or in Boston. With you going up there to bring her back, you're going to need your wits about you. Now with recent events, it's important that you stay alert at all times," instructed Frank as he stood before his son.

"We'll be close by but hopefully not close enough to be made. You get her packed up and back on the road as fast as you can. Then you get home to us, in one piece! D'ya hear me kid?" pleaded Danny as he held his brother's shoulder. Jamie nodded his understanding.

"When? When can i go get her? Do you need to let her know i'm coming?" he asked.

"I think it would be prudent for us to call her but maybe a surprise reunion would be better!" smiled Frank as he watched his son, beaming with excitement. "If we keep it quiet then there's probably a better chance of catching Louis on the hop. Giving him the opportunity to slip up."

Jamie nodded, looked to his father, Danny and then Sam who were all smiling at him in a goofy way.

"Why you still standing here kid? Go get her!" laughed Danny as he slapped Jamie on the back and practically threw him out of the office not before he took off at a run. "He's not going to stop until he gets to her, is he?" said Danny, stating the obvious to those in the room with him as they all laughed.

"Hello?" sighed Toni as she picked up the intercom phone of her small apartment.

"Hey! Let me in! It's freezing out here!" called the familiar voice.

"Jamie?!" exclaimed Toni as she hit the entry button, hanging up and rushing out of the door. They met halfway as he was climbing the stairs and she was flying down them. "What are you doing here?"

"I've come to take you home!" he smiled as he carried her back up the stairs.

"Home? You mean?" stammered Toni. As she looked at the young officer before her.

"Home. You and me!" he smiled as he kissed her, firmly. Their first kiss lingered for several minutes. "Think we'd better take this inside!" he smirked as they came up for air. Toni laughed and took his hand and led him back to the apartment with him griming like the Cheshire cat.

"So, this has been home?" asked Jamie as he looked around the place as Toni made them some coffee.

"Are you ok?" asked Toni as she passed him a mug of coffee. "What's been happening?" she pressed. Jamie smiled bashfully at her as he sat beside her. "Your poker face isn't improving!" she teased.

Jamie took a deep breath and told her everything that had been happening to him and the family. The latest incident of the suicide by cop for Jamie was enough to have Toni sitting on his lap, straddling him as she hugged him tightly.

"Why couldn't i stay home with you through all this?" she asked as she kissed him gently.

"Well, you are going to be home with me," he smiled, smugly. "How long will it take you to pack up?"

"Not long. Most of the stuff here is rented; i never got much time to pack anything before i left. Really, it's a few photos, my laptop and my clothes," she shrugged as Jamie kissed her neck and let his hands wander.

"Good! We'll hit the road first thing in the morning. But first things first. We got some lost time to make up," he grinned as he lifted her up and carried her to the bedroom.

"Ok! What's taking them so long? I mean, how much stuff can she possibly have to pack?" groaned Danny as he and Sam sat in their car waiting to provide back up on the return drive. Sam just looked at his partner with a look of disbelief. "What?" asked Danny.

Sam shock his head, "If that was Linda and you hadn't seen each other in 10 months, what's the first thing you'd be doing?"

"We went longer than 10 months without seeing each other when i was with the Marines. We...Ohhh yeah!" grimaced Danny as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. Sam laughed! "Keep forgetting they ain't kids anymore!"

The next day, Jamie and Toni packed up his car, signed over the apartment keys and headed back to New York. Danny and Sam had spent the night taking it in turns to watch out for any signs of Louis. Both were grumpy and irritable so Danny took it upon himself to let Jamie know about it in a few choice text messages!

"What's your brother saying now?" laughed Toni as she heard the phone beep again.

"You read it!" laughed Jamie as he passed the phone to her.

"Nice words!" laughed Toni as she read the text. "Can i respond?" she quipped. Jamie nodded as he checked his mirrors. "I'll take that as a go!" she grinned, cheekily.

"Just make sure he don't crash into anything!" replied Jamie as he quickly looked at Toni.

"He won't!" she promised. "Jammie is driving! Can i help, Detective?" she texted.

"Haha! Stay on fw. Tail on u. Watch ur back!"

"How would Danny know we had a tail?" asked Toni, as she nervously looked over her shoulder.

"He's following. We got back up cause Louis has been watching both of us.." explained Jamie as he straightened up and became alert. Then he saw it. The black Mercedes had been with them the last 5 miles or so, it had to be the tail Danny was referring too.

"How did Louis know you were coming to get me?" she asked as she tried to stay calm.

"We didn't..." Jamie didn't get to finish when they were hit by another vehicle from the opposite direction.

"Shi...!" exclaimed Danny as he watched the accident happen in slow motion. Before they could stop, men were jumping out of the black Mercedes with guns, firing on Jamie's car. "Call for back up!2 shouted Danny as Sam was already calling it in.

Danny slammed on the brakes and he too, jumped out returning fire. "Jamie!" he yelled. The gunmen spun around to fire back but within seconds, they were all down. As Danny and Sam approached the gunmen to kick their weapons away they noticed that the driver in the second vehicle that hit Jamie's car was trying to climb out of his seat. He was hurt badly but determined to finish what he had started.

"Drop it! Drop the weapon!" shouted Danny as he approached with caution. "Put the gun down!"

"Not yet!" he hissed as he staggered towards Jamie's car, passenger side.

"Freeze!" yelled Sam as he followed Danny. Louis turned and leered at the two Detectives as he raised his gun towards the car. "No!"

Shots flew out of Jamie's car, Louis was falling to the ground as Danny, and Sam fired their weapons. Louis was down. Sam approached him to check for vitals as Danny ran to the car.

"Are you two ok?" he yelled as he pulled the passenger door open to find Jamie and Toni huddled together. "Hey! Put her down!" he smirked.

"Is he dead?" asked Jamie as he looked to his brother. Danny nodded as sirens were heard in the background.

"Good shooting kid!" praised Danny as he helped Toni out of the car.

"I didn't shoot. Toni did! I couldn't get to my gun, i think i busted my hand" groaned Jamie as he struggled out. Danny looked to Toni and saw the gun in her hand.

"What? You think my old man never taught me to handle a gun?" she said with a wry smile as she handed over Jamie's weapon and went to help her man. Danny and Jamie exchanged looks.

"Don't think it would be a good idea to piss this one off in a hurry!" smirked Danny.

"Oh! You just figured that out now?" laughed Jamie before groaning in pain from his arm. Danny nodded in agreement, as he smiled at the young couple.

By early evening, everything had been cleared up and everyone was back in New York. Jamie helped Toni to unpack and resettle in her old apartment before they headed to the Reagan house for a celebratory dinner.

"Welcome home!" cheered everyone as Jamie and Toni came into the dining room. All the Reagans and the Renzullis were there to welcome them back.

"Hey!" smiled Toni as she hugged her family and then the Reagans. "It's so good to be home at last!" she said with tears in her eyes.

Jamie came behind her and hugged her once everyone else released her. "This time you're staying," he said as he kissed her in the presence of both families.

"About time!" groaned Jack and Sean as they rolled their eyes. Everyone laughed.

"That's an understatement!" mocked Danny and Renzulli as Jamie and Toni smirked back at them.

"C'mon! Let's eat!" announced Henry as he pulled everyone back to the table. "Now the family is complete at last!" he smiled.

"Totally!" smiled Jamie and Toni as they sat down with the extended family and shared the blessing with full and contented hearts.


End file.
